Page 66 of A Gypsy in Scotland


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“One day you will want to marry, your time with me will taint that possibility for you,” Lash reasoned. “Your sister will wish to marry as well. If you do not care for your reputation, consider hers.”

“If that is to be my fate, so be it. Worse things have happened to better people. I refuse to wilt away in a castle.” She bit down on her lower lip. “Isla feels the same.”

“If you married, your husband would accompany you to Edinburgh. Your future will not be ruined. Have you thought about that?”

“You sound like my brother Adair.”

“Do you think I want to deny you this?” He turned away from her, to the window, his gaze pulled to the clouds darkening the sky. “Some things are beyond my conscience, Honoria. Your request is one of those things.”

“Please.”

He shut his eyes against the stab of pain that one word evoked.

“I will ask for nothing more.”

He turned back to her, his gaze probing. “Do you truly not care that your entire life will be ruined—your prospects, your future, your reputation, your social standing, your place within society?”

“Have you not been listening to me!” she exploded. “I. Don’t. Care.”

Lash blinked.

She marched up to him, eyes flashing with anger. “Tell me, what good is my life if I cannot live it?”

He opened his mouth, but she did not give him a chance to respond.

“Between my brothers, I am doomed if I stay, doomed if I go. I am tired of waiting as they break their word year after year. I am ready to be launched from the nest, on my terms. If I am cast out from the marriage mart, so be it.”

Lash didn’t understand why she avoided the clear solution. “But a husband—”

“Marriage is no solution,” she interrupted him. “Not when my fate rests in my husband’s hands. What if he, like my brothers, decides that Edinburgh is no place for me? That it is simply too much hassle to take me? What then?”

Lash clenched his jaw shut.

“Right now, my fate rests in my hands. My brothers be damned. My reputation be damned. My future prospects be damned. I will no longer be the princess locked away in a castle. I demand to have my life.”

“Honoria—”

“Will you take me or not?”

It would be so easy to say yes. To take her, to make her happy, to have more time with her, all the repercussions be damned.

To deny her twisted his gut into knots. But he could not drag her into the chaos that was his life—he could not ruin her future—no matter how much he may want to keep her at his side.

There was Syeira and his brother to consider.

There was her family to consider.

Her future.

At the moment, no one knew about their tryst. If he took her with him . . . that would be over. She’d be as much of an outcast as he was. And he did not wish that life on anyone.

“I am sorry, Honoria, I cannot.”

“Is protecting my future the only reason you refuse?” she asked. “Or do you think I’m a burden, as well, but wish to spare me my feelings?”

“You are not the burden,monisha. I am. I’ve brought nothing but chaos into your life where you have only saved mine.”

“Why can you not see this request as repayment for healing you?”