Belle sighed, swirling her brandy in her hand, watching the gold liquid move smoothly. It was too late to retract her statement now, so she continued in a soft voice, “An unfortunate consequence of my surviving my first assault. I assure you, I am very much certain of the fact.”
“I’m so sorry. I cannot imagine how that must feel.”
Belle waved her friends worry away. “I’ve accepted it a long time ago. But I cannot give an earl, or any lord for that matter, an heir. Maybe it might not matter at the beginning, but it will matter in the end.”
The truth of her words hovered in the air, reflected in Jo’s eyes. Yet to Belle’s relief she saw no pity, only regret.
“Why have you never told us?”
Belle shrugged. “It’s not a conversation you brooch over tea. In truth, if only I knew the truth, then I could pretend that the fact of it did not exist.”
“Now that’s just silly,” Jo interjected.
“Perhaps.”
“You can always steal a baby from some horrible French spy family.”
Uncontrollable laughter spilled from Belle’s lips. “French! I would have rather thought to steal a German babe. Saints! Would that not be something?”
“If you do ever decide to snatch a babe from its poor mother’s arms, at least let me know. I would hate for you to get caught,” Jo teased.
They both laughed.
It was a ridiculous really, but the idea of it, laughable though it was, took shape in Belle’s mind. She’d have to leave for five months or there about. It will take the ton only so long before a fake pregnant ruse will become obvious. Not that she’d eversteala baby, but there were other ways in obtaining infants, such as orphans. Perhaps she could have a family if she could find a husband that didn’t require his children to share his own blood.
“I know that look in your eyes.”
“What look?”
“That look that does not bode well for the rest of us.”
Belle’s lips curled.
The crushing weight of the past lifted and for the first time in a long while, she felt liberated. And with that liberation, something deep in the regions of her heart urged her not to lose hope, to not lose sight of having a family someday. He urged her to allow passion to burn brightly in her soul and right now, that passion was centered on one particular individual.
“I suppose now is as good time as any to appease any curiosity I may have.”
“You are planning on seducing Westfield again, aren’t you?”
Belle gaped at Jo.
“Oh, do not give me that look, I would have done the same, the air of danger and all that.”
Belle harrumphed. “It’s his insistence to marry that has me tiptoeing around any desirable urges.”
And that it was impossible to forget his touch, his kisses.
“Oh, posh! You have managed to hold him at bay thus far, so if that is your only reservation I suggest you throw it to the wolves,” Jo exclaimed. “Albeit, your reluctance to marry does make sense now, but not all men require an heir. You can always marry some old dodger already equipped with an heir and spare.”
“Your eyes are sparkling with matchmaking intent again. I’m positively quivering with fear.”
“My eyes do not sparkle with matchmaking intent,” Josephine denied.
Belle gave her a look that bespoke her disbelief. “Ever since you and Evelyn married you have been lurking in the trenches of matchmaking. And Simon happens to be Evelyn’s brother. She’ll be sounding church bells the moment she learns of our indiscretion.”
“I would hardly call what you shared an indiscretion for it would imply a display of poor judgment, which I believe it was not. But I do advise that you give his proposal due consideration.”
“I have considered his proposal and I see no other way than to decline it. All I wished for was one night of magic. And all that has changed is that instead of one night, perhaps I’d like a few.”
