“You’re insane if you think my taking care of you is weird.” Throwing the washcloth toward the bathroom as he chuckled, I didn’t even look to see if it went in as I climbed back up on the bed and pulled him into my arms. “Come here, crazy man.”
That got a giggle from him, but it seemed to be a mix of happiness and relief. “You’re so weird.”
He might’ve thought I’d lost my mind, but he wiggled close, resting his head on my chest as he draped his body over me. “I like that you’re nuts, though. That means I don’t have to try to be sane either.”
“Pretty bird.” I kissed the top of his head, smiling as he made a soft, happy sound. “You don’t ever have to be anything but you. I find you to be amazing. You’re smart and sexy and funny and you will never be boring.”
Stroking my chest, he let out a happy sigh. “If anyone here is smart, it’s you…and don’t forget you’re passionate and driven and have the biggest balls of anyone I’ve ever met.”
Barking out a laugh, I kissed his head again as I stroked down his back. “Well, you’re running one of the best custom home building companies in the city and probably in the surrounding area. You’ve got an amazing career and you’re well-respected.”
If not feared.
But in this town, that wasn’t a bad thing.
“So we’ll have to agree that we’re both awesome.” Conner turned and pressed a kiss to my chest before snuggling backagainst me again. “And we’re both going to agree that our pacing is perfectly reasonable?”
“Yep.” My answer had him pressing his face into my chest, trying to hide the giggle that escaped. “Because once you’ve found the right person, nothing else matters…and baby, you’re definitely the right person.”
“You’re sure?” He chuckled, trying to play it off, but before he could find a flippant way to turn the conversation, I kissed him again and gave him a hug.
“Yes. There’s no question in my mind.” Knowing it was time to open up more if he was truly going to understand how important he was to me, I tried to relax as I stroked over his back, using his sexy body to help me relax my stressed one. “After that heart issue? Well, I had a few weeks off work and way too much time on my hands.”
His hand came up to caress my chest as he chuckled. “I bet you were a wonderful patient.”
Uh, no.
“Let’s say that I was and move past that part.” As he laughed, I sighed and decided to just ignore my silly boy. “I realized I had to find better ways of relaxing and, at the very least, a hobby. But as I did more thinking and more internet wandering, I started to realize the controlling side that pissed off the guys I’d dated didn’t have to be a bad thing in a relationship.”
Nodding against my chest, Conner seemed to understand but didn’t chime in, so I kept going. “I didn’t jump into anything right away, but I started seriously researching the lifestyle and figuring out what I might like.”
It turned out that logical research did not prepare people for the crazies that came in every group.
“I finally met a couple online that I decided to meet up with.” I thought I was sounding calm and relaxed, but the way Conner tightened around me like a little monkey said I probably wasn’t coming across that way.
But I wanted to get it over with more than I wanted to avoid it, so I ignored the tension in me. “We met up in public a few times. Dinner. Drinks. We discussed what I was looking for and I’d really thought I’d made a logical decision. Nothing that stood out as a red flag even though I wasn’t sure there was a lot of chemistry between us.”
Maybe that’d been the red flag I’d missed?
I still couldn’t be sure even after all the time I’d spent obsessing over it. What it all boiled down to was that some people just weren’t good people and if my work made me feel more passionately than someone I met, I shouldn’t get intimate with them in any way.
It’d been one of the ways I knew birdie was the one. The first time he’d really shown me who he was, I’d known right then work would never be more important than the beautiful glaring man who looked like he could take on the world.
“When I finally went over to their place, the plan I thought we were all in agreement with was that I was going to watch a scene.” It still sounded so logical. “They said they liked having an audience and I thought it would be a good way to learn firsthand what it would be like without getting in over my head.”
I’d been wrong.
“Once we got to their apartment, everything changed. They led me to their bedroom and locked the door. Well, once that was done, the Dom, well, the asshole, started barking orders and nothing was going as planned.” This time I wasn’t surprised when Conner kissed my chest and tightened even more around me.
He’d been through his own trauma and I knew he could feel mine.
“He started telling me that the only way to learn was to submit myself and he was going to show me what a Dom could really do. The sub, well, his sidekick in crime, started egging him on and the whole thing was insane.” I couldn’t imagine how many people they’d suckered in with their routine.
“I guess I was less intimidated than they’d expected and when he came toward me, telling me what he was going to do, I started yelling and making a fucking scene you’d have been proud of.” As he chuckled and relaxed his hold on me, I let out a deep breath.
“It actually had the neighbors shouting that they’d call the cops if we didn’t stop the racket, so I didn’t stop. Eventually, I made it back to the door and got out.” After pulling the door nearly off the hinges. “But it made me think, and eventually I realized I wanted to have a place where people could be safe as they started to build those types of relationships.”
Giving me another hug, Conner wiggled until his head was resting in the dip where my shoulder met my arm. “Did you call the cops?”
