“In high school, I thought she was insane,but yeah, I appreciate her more now.” As a teenager, when she’d been hoveringover me and accepting whatever crazy thing caught my attention, it’d beenfrustrating. Not that she loved me but that nothing ever fazed her.
“I’d have thought with so many kids in thefamily, you might have gotten away with more.” Ryan speared a piece of raviolias he glanced over at me.
“Yeah, that’s how it should have worked,but no, she was this superwoman who could stalk all of us at the same time andknew exactly when to worry. It was creepy sometimes.” As kids, we’d debatedwhether or not she’d bugged the house.
We spent an entire summer when most of uswere in elementary school where we’d only talk in code in the house. When wehad something we wanted to say, we went out to the woods near the edge of theproperty to talk. The fact that sneaking out like that just made us lookguiltier and made it easier for her to keep an eye on us had escaped our noticeuntil a lot later.
Ryan shook his head. “I just can’t imaginethat. My mom was great, but she didn’t ask personal questions. Hovering was nother style. She’s more of a support from a distance and let you do your ownthing kind of parent.”
I couldn’t relate to that at all.
“That would have been weird to me.” Ifocused back on my dinner. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she’s backed off abit, but when I picture a mom, it’s kind of this stalker figure who knowseverything about you.”
Ryan laughed and shook his head. “I’m theexact opposite.”
“Do you think that made it easier to comeout? Having that space, I mean.” I had a hard time putting myself in thatposition. As he thought, I cut off a piece of my chicken.
After a few bites, he finally shrugged. “Ihave no idea. I’d like to say yes, but I don’t know. I’m glad they’re not likeScott’s family, but I’m not sure if being able to talk about more stuff would’vemade it easier to figure out…” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “Um…everythingelse.”
“Keeping things a secret was always so hardin our house, it never really occurred to me to try.” Then I grinned. “Moreprivacy would have just made it easier for me to get in more trouble.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I have afeeling you weren’t as innocent as I was in high school.”
My grin widened, and I had a feeling it lookeda little wicked from the way he was squirming. “Oh yeah, innocent is not theword I would use to describe the teenage version of me.”
“What word would you use?” Ryan’s smile wasteasing, but it was easy to see he was curious.
“Trouble.” I laughed as he nodded. “Mymother called me her little hurricane and said wherever I went, disaster ortrouble followed.”
“I can imagine that. You were probablynever the quiet type.”
“No, if I was quiet it was because I was upto something.” I gestured to myself. “I always looked innocent enough to getaway with everything. Most teachers and other adults really do judge a book byits cover, and my cover looked really sweet.”
Ryan’s smile widened. “I can see that. Icould’ve easily made the same mistake.”
“That would have been terrible.” I reachedacross the table and squeezed his hand. “I’m glad I went up to talk to youguys.”
A faint blush crept up his cheeks, but hesqueezed my hand back and his smile turned tender. “Me too. I’d have never workedup the nerve to approach you.”
“That’s okay. I have enough nerve for thethree of us.” As I released his fingers and picked up my fork, he chuckled.
“Oh yes, and we’re counting on that.”
“Good, because I don’t want either of youto change.” Well, unless that change was confessing that they wanted somethingdirty in the bedroom. “At least not too much change. I like that you’re both abit shy about what you want. It’s cute.”
The server had seated us far enough awayfrom everyone else that I wasn’t worried about anyone overhearing us, but Ryan stillglanced around and blushed. She’d originally tried to put us in the samehalf-filled section as everyone else, but I’d told her right away I wantedsomething with more privacy.
Ryan had been fighting not to blush, butshe’d just given me a knowing look and nodded before changing directions andtaking us toward the back. She was going to end up getting abigtipbecause she’d stayed away unless we’d called her over and hadn’t seemed to bein any hurry to rush us out. It probably helped that business seemed to be slowfor a Sunday night, but I was grateful we could talk.
Glancing down at his food again, Ryanseemed to be working up the nerve to say something, so I just waited. When hewas ready, his eyes darted up to mine before they went back to his food. “Thatdoesn’t drive you crazy?”
I had to retrace the conversation. “Thatyou guys are shy?”
He nodded at my question. “No, I honestlythink it’s cute, and I like being the first guy you’ve done things like thiswith. You wouldn’t be you if you were brash and out there like me. I think I’mfabulous enough that I balance us out.”
The answer had been slightly convoluted,but I hoped he understood what I was trying to say.
That time it was Ryan who reached out andgave my hand a squeeze. “I’m glad.”
