Ryan’s fingers stilled, and he shrugged. “Lots.”
I had to fight the shiver that wanted torace up my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was the images in my head or Ryan’s touchor the heat in his voice, but suddenly I was achingly hard. “Yeah, that’s whatI thought.”
“If everybody else is…you know…likethat,then we wouldn’t have to worry about people saying something later if they sawus in public.” I couldn’t decide if Ryan was talking himself into it or justpointing out information.
I shifted my head just enough to encouragehis fingers to start moving again. “True.”
Not that we’d talked about what we wouldsay to people in public, but Ryan was right. If everybody else in the bar wereborderline exhibitionists, or just liked watching, then we probably didn’t haveanything to worry about. They wouldn’t want to be outed any more than we would.
I wasn’t going to worry about that partanytime soon, however. I’d never seen anyone from work at the gay bars andclubs we’d been to, and if we saw them someplace weird, then that meant theywere into something kinky too. Before I could figure out what else to say, Ryanspoke again. “Is it ridiculous that I think it would be easier if Dare justmade the decision and said we would go?”
Ridiculous? No.
Easier? Yes.
“No. I think that’s kind of what having aDom is for. To make the hard decisions.” And to read your mind so you didn’thave to ask for things like spankings and being tied to the bed.
That must have made Ryan feel moreconfident because his touch slowly turned from casual to something with moreintent. More assured, maybe.
I just wasn’t sure where it was going. Notthat I was planning on asking him. We were still in the awkward phase of arelationship where we were trying to work everything out. I always hated thatpart. Most relationships never really got off the ground for me, so we’d alwaysbeen stuck in the weird phase.
But the few that had lasted were nice oncewe’d gotten past it.
I liked knowing people’s expectations.Could I lean over and kiss him whenever I wanted to? How did he like to betouched? When did he like to be touched? Could I curl up next to him if he waswatching TV on the couch? I had so many questions but not enough answers—andnot enough confidence to ask any of them.
“Me too.” It took me a moment to figure outwhat Ryan was responding to.
Hard decisions.
“Do you think we need to tell him that?” IfDare wanted us to make a decision about the bar, would it be reasonable to put theball back in his court and let him decide?
Ryan’s finger trailed down my neck andstarted caressing lower toward my chest. “Can we do that? I mean, can we justtell him to decide?”
I shrugged. It made sense to me, but… “Idon’t know.”
Ryan kept up the slow touches, but I couldalmost hear the wheels in his brain turning. “He said he wants to talk aboutrules and expectations. That can be one of our rules. He gets to decide on thehard stuff unless we safeword.”
The whole conversation was weird, but theidea that we could make Dare figure all this out and let him lead the way tooka lot of the stress off my shoulders. “Yes.”
Ryan chuckled and shifted like he wasleaning closer for a moment before he relaxed back. “Okay. We’ll figure out away to tell him. Eventually.”
Had he been leaning in to kiss me?
Dare had made it very clear that anappropriate good morning greeting was required. That made it easy to wrap myarms around Ryan and kiss him first thing. It was everything after that wherewe were floundering.
Could I just tell him that I wanted tokiss? Would that look needy? Weird? What if he hadn’t been thinking about itand I just said something completely out of the blue?
“Eventually.” Maybe I’d text him later.
Texting was easy because there was no onelooking at me, and if I took ten minutes to rearrange the words into somethingreasonable, he didn’t seem to mind. I was doing better about just sending offthe words that were in my head without overthinking it, though.
I’d done so well the other night when Darehad been asking what I’d thought about our first real night together, he’d saidI deserved a reward. But he’d been very cagey about what he meant.
Ryan must have had a lot going through hishead, or maybe he was just horny and distracted, because he didn’t let thesubject drop. “You like that idea? I mean, letting Dare decide things.”
Not really sure where the conversation wasgoing, I nodded. “Yes.”
I knew Ryan wouldn’t judge no matter what Iwanted from Dare, but it was still hard to give myself permission to unloadeverything that was in my head. Ryan didn’t seem to mind, however. He nodded aswell. “I do too.”
