It made me miss the previous strength ofthe scene.
If I told him everything, would he go backto the perfection he’d given me before or would he stop everything altogether?
Fuck it all.
I couldn’t live in limbo any longer,especially when Lynn was leaving and I wasn’t sure how I would make everythingwork.
I was done hiding, no matter what.
Chapter 12
Warner
Keeping up the slow rhythm of the flogging,I waited as Ridley made his way through whatever memories or thoughts werepushing at him. I knew he hadn’t realized how long he’d been silent when hestarted talking like I’d just asked him the question only seconds before.
“I technically didn’t lie about anything.I’m single and gay and I’ve wanted to submit for a long time, but I left a fewthings out.” His voice was almost expressionless, like he was reading me thenews, but I knew that whatever was going on in his personal life wasn’t as easyas he was trying to pretend it was.
When I just waited, he continued his story.“A little over six months ago, my brother and sister-in-law were in an accidentwith a drunk driver. They were killed on impact and I got custody of theirdaughter. I’mUnca Riddyto her, but I’m basically her mother, father,and uncle all rolled into one.”
That right there would’ve been hard foranyone to handle, but I knew from the way his voice was still so careful thatit wasn’t the whole story yet.
“The guy I was dating at the time bailed assoon as he realized I was going to take care of Becca instead of giving her toher grandparents or something like that.” Taking a deep breath, Ridley seemedto find continuing easier because the words didn’t seem as forced as hecontinued.
“I got custody of Becca just fine, butAnna’s sister was supposed to control all the money that was left to be usedfor Becca.” I’d heard that advice mentioned several times from differentsources, but Ridley’s tension said it hadn’t gone as planned. “But she travelsa lot for work and it was several months before she could come back to handlethe finances.”
As he paused again, some of the tensioneased out of him, so I finally stepped in. “That’s why you were working twojobs.”
His head bobbed up and down. “Everything’sfine now, but paying for the funeral wiped me out, and my salary wasn’t enoughto keep the house going.”
“I’m assuming your sister-in-law’s sistercame back?” Was that who was watching his niece?
Suddenly, the odd hours he was availableand the last-minute nature of his schedule started to make more sense.
Ridley nodded. “Yes, she’s been stayingwith us since she came back, but she’s leaving again tomorrow. I thought she’dhave more time with us, but her job…and now I just…”
His emotions were back in his voice and Icould hear the stress and worry he’d been trying to hide…and Asa’s frustrationwith the secret was becoming a lot clearer.
“You think you have to handle this all onyour own?” With the highlights of the story out, I slowly intensified theflogging again. I’d slowed to almost a stop as he spoke, but after hearing moreabout what he’d been going through, I knew he didn’t need gentle from me at themoment.
Ridley sucked in a breath, but the shiverthat raced through him as the vibrations of the plug got stronger said he wasgetting exactly what he wanted. “You didn’t…you didn’t sign up for this.Kid…kids change things…baggage.”
I knew a flippant answer wasn’t what hewanted, so I bit back my immediate response that it wouldn’t change anythingbetween us.
“I don’t know any subs your age that havekids.” The club had an interesting mix of younger guys and older ones, but mostthat played on a regular basis didn’t have kids. “You’re right that it changesthings, but change isn’t bad.”
Shit. I’d been looking for a change in mylife for the past two years.
“A relationship isn’t all sex and games,and submission isn’t always obvious.” Letting the flogger fall one last time, Iset it down before stepping closer and stroking over his back and down to hisass as the vibrations continued.
I could feel the pleasure coursing throughhim and the little shivers that were racking his body. He was close to coming.I knew I was testing his limits, but I didn’t ease up on him. “Unless all youwanted was a Dom to fuck you and then let you leave? Is that what you wantedfrom me or did you want a real relationship? Do you want to be completely ownedby your Master or do you want to be free?”
Sure, his actions might have sent mixedsignals at times, but the tender way Ridley would turn to me said he wasn’tlooking for casual even if that was the only thing he thought he could have.
“I…” He let out a low whimper as I pressedagainst him, my body nudging the toy deeper into him. “I can’t think, Master.”
Making a low tsking sound, I pinned himtight against my body. “I’m sure that’s very frustrating. Now answer myquestion. Are you my good little cockslut who wants to be owned and kept andprotected and loved, or are you just here to get off and leave?”
No matter what his feelings really were, Iknew there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to let me in and trust me, but Iwas willing to take that leap of faith.
