In his mind turtles were going faster thanwe were, but over the past few weeks his life had turned upside down.
“I’ve taken a lot of control even though Iknow it doesn’t always feel like that to you. I’m not opposed to moving deeperinto the physical side of our relationship, but my focus has been getting toknow you and your reactions, both physically and emotionally. You’re importantto me. Too important to rush. Now. Tell me what you’re feeling.”
Asa gave me a faint nod and I could feelmore of his stress leaving as I took control of the situation. “I’m feeling too…free.That might not be the right word, though. I would like to feel everythingtighter around me, please. Not physically, although that would be good as well,but even if you’re not planning on us having sex anytime soon, I would like tofeel more owned. Please.”
He must really want it to be so polite.
Normally he’d have just charged in anddemanded it until I drew the line and punished him.
“Tell me what you mean by too free.”Tightening my hold on his neck, I kept the order firm as we made our way backto my place.
“I don’t like going back to my apartmentduring the week. I don’t like being alone. I like being with you on the weekends.”Just saying it out loud seemed like it took a weight off his shoulders.
“Even though you have very little freedom?”Every response and answer over the past two weekends said that he’d liked beingable to let everything go when he got to my house, but I’d been under theassumption that he would need a break from it.
“I don’tparticularly appreciate freedom, Master.” His voice had softened as I’d heldhim tighter. The agitation he’d been radiating earlier was gone and in itsplace was my sweet sub who was starting to melt into the seat. “Freedom meansno one wants you enough to keep you.”
My poor boy.
Keeping my firm grip on him, I let a fingergently stroke his neck. “Then no more freedom for my boy. You might not like mytimeline for things like moving in together, but I’ll make sure you feel moregrounded, baby.”
He’d been throwing himself headfirst intoeverything since he was a kid, so this probably shouldn’t have come as asurprise. Not that I was completely thrown; I’d just assumed I had a few moreweeks to show him I was serious about our relationship before he pushed backagainst the pace I was setting.
I was going to count this as a learningexperience.
“I’ve been doing very good at following therules. I was only late once last week, and I didn’t complain about doing mylines.” He was fighting to stay clearheaded and on track, so I knew the wordswere important to him, but I wasn’t sure where he was leading the conversation.
“You’re right. You’ve been texting whenyou’re supposed to, and you even got more sleep this week. I was very proud ofyou.” His smile said he liked the praise, but it wasn’t until he startedspeaking again that I understood the point.
“See, it can’t be too much control if Ifollow the rules so well. I wasn’t even a brat either.”
And being well-behaved said I wasn’tcontrolling him enough?
I wasn’t sure if that was what I wassupposed to take away from it, but his logic sometimes had just a few tinyholes in it.
Letting my voice deepen, I went back to thefirm hold on his neck. “You might have a point. If you’re so polite, I clearlyhaven’t been pushing you enough.”
A shiver raced through him and I could feelthe shift in him. Knowing that he’d gotten his point across left him feelinglike he could let everything go.
That made it the perfect opportunity toclear up a few more things.
“When did you first want to move in withme?” The sentence should’ve felt ridiculous, except I’d had similar thoughtsmore than a few times lately.
I just wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
His voice was quiet, like he was fightingto stay focused. “After the barbecue, maybe? I don’t remember the first time.”
That far back?
I was starting to think I didn’t have tofeel so guilty about my fantasies. They weren’t exactly about keeping himlocked in my basement, especially since I didn’t have one, but it was closeenough that I’d worried about what he would think.
That was a miscalculation on my part.
“What made you think about moving in withme?” His answer made me want to hug him tight.
“Being home all the time is lonely.Especially last week after I finished the online classes I was taking. Afterspending the weekend with you that first time, I saw how often I filled up mylife with work.” He sighed. “If I can’t live with you, I need to be able towork more.”
If those were my only options he was right,he needed me around more.
