I groaned, dropping my head back onto hisshoulder. “Don’t tell me that. I want to look sophisticated and sexy, not likea mourning nut case.”
I could almost hear Matthew’s laughter inthe back of my head. “I mean, not sexy, I just—”
Griffin hugged me again, cutting off myembarrassing rambling. “I think you look sexy and cuddly and very sweet. It’s agood look on you.”
“I’m just going to stop talking so I don’tsound any more stupid than I do already.” Yep, wherever Matthew was, he wouldbe getting a kick out of it.
So was Griffin. “How about we talk aboutsomething else? Do you remember the other time you sat on my lap?”
There’d been something familiar about histouch, which had been the reason it’d taken me so long to figure out who washolding me. My brain was still scattered all over the club, so it took a fewseconds to find the memory. “Oh, that camping trip.”
We hadn’t been big outdoors people, but theone time we’d gone camping with a group from the firehouse, several of the guyshad decided to drive down to the lake. There hadn’t been enough room for all ofus and Matthew had really wanted to go, so we’d piled in and I’d ended upspread across Griffin’s and Matthew’s laps.
He chuckled. “Yes, you blushed all dayafter that.”
Knowing he was in the lifestyle in some wayor another gave me the confidence to explain why. “That was because sweet, proper-seemingMatthew spent the entire day whispering dirty things about what we should’vedone on the drive over. He was terrible and I kept worrying you were going tohear and think we were depraved or something.”
Matthew had been wicked that entire trip,but it’d been so much fun.
Griffin started laughing. “I never guessed.I assumed that you thought it was scandalous or something.”
I pulled back and peeked up at him, raisingone eyebrow. “Disappointed I’m not as innocent as you expected?”
Matthew had always joked that I looked likethe perfect omega…masculine enough to be mistaken for a beta numerous timesover the years and surrounded by successful businessmen…but not everyone wouldhave understood that looks could be deceiving.
I didn’t mind that most people thought Iwas vanilla and that the biggest thing they complained about was my desire tostay home and not work at a traditional job, but I didn’t like the idea thatGriffin would be shocked or disappointed.
He shook his head, eyes twinkling.“Relieved and a bit curious.”
Both answers made me smile. “Curious? I canunderstand the relieved.”
He shrugged. “I’m seeing things in a newlight, but none of it’s bad. Just little comments Matthew made and inside jokesyou had that are starting to make a bit more sense. Like when he used to jokeabout you liking to stay home and take care of him. People thought he wastrying to teasingly point out that there was nothing wrong with wanting tofocus on your house and family, but that wasn’t it at all.”
I shook my head. “He got crap for my notwanting to have some kind of high-powered corporate job all the time. So it washis way of teasing about it while being very honest at the same time…his way ofsaying fuck you without actually saying it.”
He’d hated that people hadn’t respected mydecision to stay home. Even the volunteering I’d done hadn’t been seen asworthwhile since it wasn’t accompanied by a full-time job. Matthew hadunderstood it was something that made me happy. I liked taking care of him eventhough, technically, I’d never been a full-time sub.
“I could see how much he liked having youat home, but I didn’t understand why. Now I do.” Griffin smiled, but it wastender and soft. “Do you miss not having him to take care of?”
“Sometimes that’s what I think I missmost.” I wasn’t surprised when Griffin pulled me back against him.
It reminded me of Matthew so much I had tostop and take a breath. I knew he wasn’t Matthew and everything about his bodywas bigger and broader from his work at the fire department, but there wassomething familiar about the way he was holding me…something comforting.
“Matthew always said that when you finallyadmitted you were a Dom, he was going to fix you up with one of my friends. Hethought you’d be great for Jonah.” I smiled as his chest jerked with silentlaughter. “But you missed out because he’s got two alphas now.”
“Someone got a bit greedy in therelationship department. Doesn’t he know he’s only allowed one? I was toldrecently that there aren’t enough Doms to go around.” When I laughed, heexplained. “I had a very interesting date a few months ago. He made his viewson relationships like that extremely clear.”
Bad dates were another thing he’d alwayshad in common with the rest of the guys too. Sitting up again, I grinned. “Areyou looking for a family like that?”
He shook his head. “One partner is finewith me, but he was also very opinionated on a thousand other things too. Itcame across as just a bit much.”
And probably a little insane too.
“Dating sounds terribly painful. Justwatching what the guys have gone through made me glad I found Matthew so earlyin life.” My comment made him chuckle.
“You guys found each other before you couldtalk. That’s got to be cheating somehow because I happen to know that we arenot all given that gift.” He sounded so offended by life I had to smile.
“You didn’t get a sweet, sexy neighborgrowing up?” I laughed when he groaned.
