As he nodded, he swallowed and seemed to betrying to clear the lust from his brain. “You know I have to keep some thingsquiet. Right? Being seen with me in public means there will be rumors, I can’thelp that. But I can’t have what I really want out there because it will hurtthe rest of the guys.”
I nodded and finally gave in to the urge totouch him. Cupping his cheek, I let him see that I understood, no playfulteasing. “I can be your friend in public or we can be more than that. Iunderstand your needs have to stay behind closed doors for a variety ofreasons, but if we’re seen together, then they’ll figure out who I ameventually. I’m not ashamed of my business and I want to get to know youbetter, but I know that might not be what you want.”
Touching him, I could feel the delicateshiver that raced through him as he leaned into my hand. He nuzzled against meand sighed. “If you turn out to be a serial killer or something really freaky,I’m going to lose my mind.”
Barking out a laugh, I shook my head. Icouldn't remember smiling this much in years. “I promise I’m not a serialkiller, but I won’t claim to be vanilla.”
Laughter shone in his eyes and he grinned.“Perish the thought. I’m hoping you're even more wicked than I’m fantasizingabout.”
He was a handful, all right.
“Focus, Trouble. Dating. Paparazzi.Public.” I chuckled as he groaned.
“No boring things,” Austin whined.
“Yes.” Then I lowered my voice and caressedhis cheek. “If you’re very good for me, I might reward you later.”
Subtle and careful were words I’d neverassociate with Austin, even the real side of him I was getting a peek at.
“Being good is so hard.” He gave me thepout he’d clearly perfected. “I want to be naughty.”
I chuckled. “I know you do. Butconversations first, then you can be naughty.”
We had numerous things that had to bediscussed, both business and pleasure. “I’ve been in the lifestyle for yearsand have owned the shop for almost as long. I know how important your privacyis and I will always respect that, no matter what happens between us.”
In a society that just didn’t understandBDSM, that was one of the first things new members to the community had tolearn. Privacy was one of the most important parts of a relationship, even onethat only lasted for the night.
Something sad flashed through Austin’seyes, but just as quickly, it was replaced by the smiling flirt who he was mostcomfortable showing. “No matter what happens, huh? That’s very mysterious.”
Mysterious or did it make him nervous?
“No, be honest with me.” I stroked myfingers along his jaw and down his neck. “Tell me what the first thought was.The real one.”
He froze. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Lies will not get you the spanking youseem to desperately want, Trouble. Let me show you that you can trust me.”Fuck, we’d known each other about two hours. What were we doing?
I heard the voice of the alpha who’dtrained me when I first stumbled into the lifestyle.“Someday you’ll findthe one and it will hit you like a ton of bricks. I don’t care what people say,I’ve seen it happen too many times. You’ll be walking along one day and bam,the mate you were fated to have will be right there in front of you.”
He’d been right about everything else inlife; I didn’t know why I’d doubted him about his whole fated mates philosophy.
Austin looked at me for a long few secondsbut didn’t pull away. Finally, he sighed again, that time honest frustrationand not to flirt. “I swear if this comes back to bite me in the ass, I’m goingto join some kind of commune and give up sex and dating completely.”
He seemed serious, but I wanted to laugh.
However, since he was serious, I abstained.
Barely.
“I might bite your ass, but I will do mybest to always be honest with you and respect your privacy. And before youthink that’s something crazy, I would do the same for anyone who walked into mystore or anyone in the lifestyle. Yeah, I’m not always the nicest guy, as Shaneprobably explained, but I’m not an asshole.” Fuck, too many people were utterassholes these days if my promising to be a functional person made himuncomfortable.
Austin nodded and finally eased back. Hedidn’t move my hand away, but I let it drop, giving him space I couldn’t decideif he wanted. “I haven’t had the best luck with dating. I’m tired of menlooking at me like I’m insane when I slip up and say something too close towhat I really want. I’m tired of only getting half my needs satisfied when I’mout with someone. I’m tired of knowing when I go into a relationship that itwon’t work once I open up.”
“I can’t promise things will work out.We’re very different people on a lot of levels.” Fuck. So many levels. “At somepoint, you might realize I’m boring. You might decide you hate my job and thehours I work. Fuck, you might end up finding someone who’ll look much better onthe cover of a magazine with you than I ever will. But I’ll never be shocked atwho you are.”
“I’m going to sound like a cliché,but this is really fast. You know that, right?” One eyebrow went up and theteasing Austin was back in force. “And really, if you think I’m going tocomplain about your job, you’re insane. Please, complain about a job that letsyou give me sex toys for presents?”
“Presents, huh? Well, I guess since youcan’t buy them on your own, I’ll have to take care of your needs somehow.” Heswallowed and nodded, stepping closer again.
