Preston squeezed my hand, and I glanced up to see him looking hesitant. “Outgoing and controlling aren’t characteristics that appeal to me. I have to confess I’m much more attracted to shy…submissive men.”
The word hung between us like it was waiting for the universe to tell it where to go.
I swallowed hard, and it felt like something was stuck in my throat. Finally, I managed to force out a sentence. “It’s good…you know what you like.”
Genius. I was a genius.
He chuckled, but for the first time, it felt forced. He glanced down at our hands and then back up to my face. “How do you feel about that?”
He wantedto talk about it on our first date?
I forced myself to slow down and think. What exactly had he asked? How did I feel about him liking more submissive men? As I walked through the conversation again, I realized he’d said it in a vague manner. I had to remind myself that he hadn’t been patient for months only to force a conversation on the first date.
“I…um…understand the appeal of that?” Okay, question again. I gave up trying to maintain eye contact and started studying the way our fingers laced together. They looked right. Something about the way they intertwined looked like they were meant to be. “I can understand the appeal of submission.”
I hadn’t realized how much stress he’d been feeling until the tension drained from his hand. His fingers started stroking over mine again, and it went from comforting to something more erotic—sweet but erotic.
“I’m glad. For some people, that’s a deal breaker.” He wasn’t specific, but I had a feeling he’d been nervous about my reaction to his declaration.
He shouldn’t have been. I might not have been the most outgoing guy, but appearances could be deceiving. I peeked up at him as I tightened my grip on his hand. “It’s not for me.”
I wasn’t sureanythinghe wanted would be a deal breaker. I just had to find the courage to tell him that.
Okay, I realize you guys want to know about that dentist that asked me out but just no…I’m scarred. I won’t go into all the details, but he was beyond vanilla. At the restaurant, we were sitting next to a group of ladies who were funny. They’d clearly had too much to drink and were talking about the dirty book they were reading in their book club.
Did you guys know that book clubs are still a thing?
Well, he made it very clear what he thought about the BDSM book they were reading. He kept expecting me to agree with him. I know I should have been honest about what I like, but I just shrugged and tried to change the subject. Total wuss move but I keep telling myself that I don’t have to share things unless I’m ready. Right?
What do you think? Wuss move or my choice?
Eight months, two weeks until first date
