“What are you so scared of River?”
I sigh and back up to sit on the edge of my desk. “You know both my parents went to prison when I was a kid?”
She nods and I can tell she wants to come closer, so I reach out and drag her to me till she’s settled between my legs. Even when I’m mad at her, space is the last thing I ever want when it comes to Freya.
“My mom got out six years ago. She never came looking for me. Not once.”
Freya squeezes my hand. “Then she’s an idiot. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”
I don’t answer that, because my mom does know me, she just decides over and over that I don’t matter.
“You are not your parents, River.”
“I have firmly drawn lines for a reason. You saw what happened when I crossed those lines. I hurt you.” Barbed wire twists around my heart, guilt a bitter taste on my tongue. I will never forgive myself for what I did to Freya. I’d been so blind to everything except my need to have her and because of that, I’d almost lost her. I need to be more careful. “Honestly, it wouldbe so easy for me to be just like my parents. To think of only myself.”
Freya’s fingers draw patterns on my thigh. “You’re scared that you’ll lose yourself, that you’ll go dark again.”
I nod. “Yes, but only because I know if I do, I’ll lose you too.”
Her eyes pierce into me, stubborn determination fiery behind the green. “I won’t let that happen. And this is different, River. It won’t be like what your parents made you do. I’m not asking you to con innocent victims. I’m asking you to help catch a killer.”
My hands drop to her waist, and I run my thumbs over the bare skin under her t-shirt.
“You know,” Freya murmurs, “Farrah talked to me on the plane before we went to Oz’s parents.”
Pain cuts into my chest like it does whenever I think of Farrah. She was a good friend, and I miss her every time I step into her office.
“She told me that I wasn’t just the daughter of a serial killer, and I wasn’t just a profiler. I was both and I should useboth. That’s what would give me the edge. You can use the skills your parents taught you to do something good, River.”
I grunt. That does sound like the sort of thing Farrah would say. The woman was always far wiser than me. My breath puffs out of me. “Nothing illegal?” I ask.
“Nothing illegal.”
“And you’ll tell me if I take it too far?” I’m still worried that if I cross one line, there won’t be anything stopping me from crossing them all. From doing whatever it takes to stop Zach, no matter who gets hurt in the process.
“You won’t.”
I raise a brow and Freya rolls her eyes.
“But yes, if you go all psycho again, I’ll kick your ass. Happy?”
“Ecstatic.” I’m smiling as I press my lips to hers. “Alright. Let’s go plan a con.”
41
FREYA
Allie looks so at home here that I’m already questioning our plan. She’s sitting on the couch in a pair of patterned pajamas and I suddenly feel like the shittiest sister in the world for dragging her back into this.
If it weren’t for the tracker on her ankle, she’d look like any other girl in her early twenties, maybe at home on break from college.
Oz squeezes my knee, and I glance up at him where he’s sitting next to me on the coffee table in front of Allie. He gives me an encouraging nod.
“So you want me to call Zach and ask to meet?” Allie’s gaze darts between me and Oz and River by the door. Jude and Eli are in the kitchen with my mom and grandmother, making some coffee.
I remind myself that Allie told me she wanted to help. She knows a little girl is missing and if our plan works, we could save her. “Yes,” I say. “Then, when he arrives, if everything goes to plan, he’ll take you with him and we’ll follow you both back to wherever he’s holding Harley.”
“Won’t he think it’s a trap?”
