There’s strawberry lip balm and soft socks. A bookmark which I absolutely know Jude picked out. Popcorn, chocolates, the list goes on. Endless little presents that fill me with pearls of warmth and joy.
Oz goes back and forth to the stove and the oven, getting the big dinner ready for later when the guests arrive. We stay in our pajamas all morning though and Jude puts Christmas music on the speakers as we open the presents under the tree.
Eva came by and took me to the mall last week so I could pick presents out for the guys. Oz grins at the knitted sweater I chose for him, but his jaw drops when he opens the package I got Carmen to send me. It’s her latest hacking invention and will get you past pretty much any firewall in seconds.
For Jude I got a set of pebbles like the ones he keeps in his pockets, except these have quotes on them from all his favorite shows. Except for one. His eyes shine when he turns the final stone over to see the words ‘I loved you first.’ He tucks the stone in the palm of his hand and mouths ‘I love you too.’
River was hard to buy for. I got him a new watch and a set of whiskey tumblers but it’s the final gift I got made that has me biting my lip as he opens it. He takes out the bracelet. It’s silver like mine but a wide flat cuff instead of round. He turns it over in his fingers.
“It’s a tracker bracelet, like mine,” I say, and when his eyes meet mine I hold his gaze steady. “I’m not letting you go either.”
The hint of a smile graces his lips, and he secures the clasp around his wrist. “I love it.” He runs the pad of his thumb over the metal. “We should get them for the others too. Our job can be dangerous, and I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
I nod, my throat thick with his acceptance. “I’d like that.”
“So um,” Eli looks around the tree for show, “do I get a present?”
I laugh and Jude shakes his head. “And I’m the childish one,” he mutters with a smile.
I had to loop the other guys in for Eli’s present but it’s worth it when I throw him a small box with a set of keys inside. He dangles them from his fingers. “You didn’t?”
I jerk my head towards the door. “Go check the driveway.”
Eli practically skids to the front door, his mouth dropping open at the sleek black Kawasaki four-cylinder sportbike parked on the doorstep of the snow plowed drive. He drops to his knees beside it. “Holy shit.” Reverently, he runs his hand over the surface.
“No more stealing my bike,” I tease, poking him in the back with my socked foot.
I squeal when he whips around and picks me up, twirling me through the air. He sets me down and kisses me silly. “You… are incredible,” he says.
I grin.
Eli’s gaze drifts back to the bike and Jude snags my hand. “Come on, ogle your new ride later, it’s fucking freezing out here.”
I’m pulled back inside, and Eli shuts the cold out behind us. As the others head back to the living area, he dips his head to my ear and whispers, “Imagine how that will feel between your legs.”
My core clenches.
The rest of the morning passes in a wonderful haze. I still get moments where I catch my reflection and see Allie or when my thoughts turn darker and guilt trickles in.
We had a small ceremony for Allie last week, just us, my mother, and my grandparents. My mom cried a lot and I’m pretty sure she hates me, but we buried Allie’s ashes under a new tree in their garden. That way she can be with family.
I kept a lock of her hair for myself. It will go wherever I go so I can keep my promise of never leaving her behind. Allie was a born protector, no matter how lost she got along the way. Every day I have to remind myself that I didn’t kill her, that she died to save Harley and that’s what she wanted. The Allie I held in my arms that day wasn’t the one who kidnapped Oz and helped our father, it was the Allie who used to teach me tricks to distract me while we were locked in the basement. It was the Allie who took the fall to save me. It was the girl I know my sister was at heart. A protector.Myprotector.
Losing Allie will hurt forever but I think that’s okay and today the guys keep me in the present.
Our late Christmas morning is intimate and perfect and later, when all our guests arrive, the house is filled with chatter and laughter. I’ve never been to a party before, and the guys went all out organizing it. They even got Carmen to come down from her mountain HQ. She brought Sam and Rebekah with her, and Rebekah and Layla are already best of friends, no doubt plotting to rob a bank or something equally chaotic. Carmen, on the other hand, has found herself a people free hideaway.
I join her on the bottom step of the stairs and rest my head on her shoulder. “Thank you for coming,” I say. “I know this isn’t exactly your scene.”
She hums. “Never really did the whole party thing.”
I lift my head to look up at her. “Too busy saving the world, huh?”
“Something like that.” Her smile is wry, but a darkness shadows her eyes.
I sit up and lean against the banister. “You never did tell me how you know Jeremiah.”
Carmen presses on her fingers, cracking her knuckles. “It’s a party Freya.” She forces a grin. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.”
