I tear my gaze away from Allie and find Eli.
He nods.
I look at Harley. Her small body shaking in fear.
Droplets fall from my cheeks onto Allie’s blood-soaked top. “It’s okay, Annie,” she whispers.
I shake my head even as I curl my fingers around the hilt of the knife. “It’s not. It willneverbe okay,” I choke on the words.
Then I do the unspeakable. I pull the knife out of my sister’s stomach and spin.
The blood coated blade leaves my hand with the flick of a wrist. My broken thumb screams but if there’s one thing my father taught me, it’s how to use a knife.
My aim is true and the blade sinks into Zach’s neck like butter.
He falls to the side, losing his grip on Harley.
She sprints away from him and I wait just long enough to see Jude scoop her into his arms before turning back to Allie.
I strip off what’s left of my shirt. My body wracks with shivers as I press the wadded-up material over her stomach. “Stay with me, Allie,” I order but her eyes are already fluttering shut.
“Allie!” I scream.
She jolts awake only to fade again, her skin sheet white.
“No. No. No.”
She looks up at me. Rests her palm against my damp cheek. “It’s okay… It’s better this way. I don’t want to be locked up again.” Her lips barely move.
Every single scar on my body aches like I’m feeling each cut all over again. I keep pressure against her wound but the blood doesn’t slow.
“I like that I helped… that I…” she draws in a labored breath, “…did something good.” She coughs. Blood bubbles out of her mouth. Thick and dark.
Her chest bucks once. Then her eyes fall shut and her head lolls to one side.
“No. No, Allie come back. Wake up.” I can’t see through my tears anymore, but I lock my fingers together and press down on her chest. I keep going, pumping up and down. Blood fountains off her stomach, seeping into the frosted ground.
Strong arms circle my waist and try to pull me back, but I fight against them. I need to keep going. Keep her heart beating.
“She’s gone. She’s gone, Freya,” Eli murmurs.
“No!” I scream, jerking in his hold as he drags me back.
My chest splits open. The world swirls around me, my pulse storming in my ears as the air turns too heavy to breathe. The ground falls away. Cities collapse.
She can’t be gone.
My sister can’t be gone.
50
JUDE
Isway on my feet, the subtle, sensory movement as much to calm me as it is Harley. Her cheek rests against my shoulder, her cold little hands hooked behind my neck as I hold her.
She’s so quiet she could be sleeping but I know she’s not. I turn us, blocking her view as the EMT’s walk by with Zach’s body on a stretcher. A gray blanket covers him but still, that’s not an image Harley needs in her head.
We should get her to the hospital really, but the second the paramedics tried to take her off me she started wailing and bawling, clinging to me with every ounce of her strength. Little half-moon indents from her nails still sting the back of my neck.
