He raises my arm above my head. A soft click and the feel of cool metal around my wrist snaps me out of it but when I try to pull my arm back I can’t. River’s cuffed me to the bed.
“Can’t have you running on me again now, can I?”
I twist onto my back and stare at him in disbelief. I’m about to lose my mind on him when his eyes drop to my chest. I go to cover myself with the sheets, but River stops me.
He props himself up on one elbow and settles his hand on my stomach. His thumb brushes back and forth over the long scar across my tummy. “I’m sorry I asked you what I did. I know you wouldn’t do that, not if you had any choice.”
I sigh. This man is not used to apologizing, but he’s done it anyway. For me.
I let myself relax back into the bed. Well, as much as I can with my arm cuffed above my freaking head. “I’m sorry I ran. It’s kind of my default setting.”
“Promise me you won’t do it again.”
I break eye contact with him, staring at the ceiling. It’s painted a dark blue instead of white.
“Freya.”
I don’t want to lie to River, not after what we just shared. “I can’t do that,” I whisper.
River sighs and lays his head on the pillow. We lie there in silence for a bit, and I wonder whether I’ve just ruined everything. Living here, with the guys, I’m so close to having all I’ve ever wanted but I can’t seem to let myself take it.
I’m debating what I can use to pick the cuffs when River speaks again.
“My parents were con artists.”
I stay still, not wanting to disturb the fragile trust he’s giving me.
“For a while it was all I knew. They started using me in their cons as soon as I was old enough to speak. Probably before that but I just wasn’t aware of it. My whole childhood was one lie after the other. If it hadn’t been for Eli...” River sighs and I risk rolling onto my side to look at him. Frown lines etch into his forehead, his pain a visceral thing. “Trust doesn’t come easy to me Freya, but when you have it, you’ve got it for good.”
I glance up at the handcuffs securing me to the bed. “I take it I still don’t have it.”
The corner of River’s lips kicks up. “Maybe I just like seeing you in my cuffs.”
I roll my eyes.
River goes serious again. He lifts up and leans over me, till we’re nose to nose. “We’ll get there,” he says. “I don’t like that you’re hiding things from me, but I understand that sometimes secrets need to be kept for a reason.”
It’s as good as I’m going to get and, for the first time, I wish that I could tell River everything.
If only it were that simple.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Jude
I TOOK MY meds again this morning to help me focus so I’m able to stay relatively still as we sit across from Kyle Winters, Posy’s husband.
He looks like he’s living his worst nightmare, which I guess he is. He got called home early because his wife of six months was murdered by a serial killer. Even for a soldier who’s seen unknown horrors it doesn’t get much worse than that.
On any other day he’d probably be good-looking, but right now his face is mottled and red where he’s been rubbing his hands over his mouth and his eyes are full of torment.
“They wouldn’t let me see her.” His breath wrenches through him. “Posy’s parents had already identified the- her, and they said I shouldn’t- they said it was better if I didn’t.”
River sits forward in the floral armchair in Kyle’s sitting room, resting his elbows on his knees. It’s too casual a pose for him but he’s doing it to put Kyle at ease. “If you need to see her, we can arrange it,” he says.
Kyle blinks and his eyes clear. The furrow in his brow tells me he didn’t think any of us would understand but River stood by Eli’s side as he identified his mother’s body. He knows.
“Thank you,” Kyle says. He straightens up and shakes his head. “You must have questions.”
