“Do you just do that to shut me up now?”
Jude grins. “Calm down, Freya. To answer your question, yes, it is like with Oz. We probably should have talked to you about it sooner, but I didn’t want to freak you out.”
“Okay.” I draw out the word.
Jude shifts us till he’s leaning against the headboard and I’m resting against his chest. “A long time ago, the four of us decided we didn’t want to have serious relationships. We’d seen too many of our colleagues’ marriages fall apart because of the job we do.”
“So, you’re saying you just want a fling?” Hurt curdles inside of me even though it has no right to be there. Before I can spiral Jude smacks my butt.
“Will you shut up and listen, please?”
I stick my tongue out at him but stay quiet.
“We knew there’d be a time when casual would no longer be enough for us so one night, when we were kind of drunk, we came up with a plan. One woman for all four of us. That way, between us, we’d always have time for her, and if one of us died on the job, she’d never be left alone.”
I push up against his chest so I can face him. “That’s kind of morbid, you know?”
“Welcome to the Serial Crimes Unit, Angel,” he says dryly.
“It’s also kind of sweet.” I trace patterns across his chest as I digest what he’s just told me.
It’s not like I haven’t heard of polyamory. I like to read a good romance as much as the next girl, but that’s all it’s been. Fiction. Considering it in real life feels far more complicated. “So, what does that mean for us, exactly?”
Jude rolls me onto my back and holds himself above me. “It means you’re not just mine. You’re ours.”
My body heats again at his words but it’s not that simple. “You say that like I don’t have a choice.”
Jude shakes his head. “You’ve got a choice. But you should bear in mind I am very good at getting what I want.”
I press my hands to his chest but can’t bring myself to push him away. “What about River and Eli? They hardly seem like they’d be on board with this.”
“They’ll come around. Both of them want you Freya, they just need to get over themselves and realize you’re it for us.”
I feel like I should say something, but my thoughts are a mess. Jude is talking like this is forever, but I’ve never beenthat good with permanence. Never let anyone get that close. Let alone four people.
I can’t deny how the guys make me feel though. Lying here with Jude, I’m at peace in a way I’m not sure I ever have been before. River and his team are bossy and protective and infuriating but for the first time ever, I feel like I belong.
“You don’t have to make a decision now. Just think on it, okay?”
I nod my head. “Okay.”
Jude kisses me and resettles us on the bed, making me the little spoon.
It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep and I’m well on my way to dreamland when the burner phone Luke gave me buzzes. I lean over and take it out from the bedside drawer. A message from Carmen flashes on the screen.
Unknown:Sorted, let me know when and where.
I swallow. The tracker weighs down my ankle like it’s pinning me to the bed.
Jude stirs.
I shove the phone back inside the drawer and snuggle up against him. Not for the first time, I wish my life wasn’t so goddamn complicated.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Eli
I TURN UP at the morgue with two cups of coffee in hand and my Stetson pulled low over my face. My neck is surprisingly ache free, but I barely slept last night and it shows. I was seconds away from doing something stupid, like going back and begging Freya for forgiveness, when I saw Jude slip into her room.
