He shakes his head. “It’s not mine to share but trust me Eli, whatever wrong she’s done, she’s already paid the price.”
I run a hand through my hair, wishing I had my hat on to hide behind. “I don’t know how to talk to her. Tobewith her.”
“She wants the same thing you do. She might be the only one who can make sure we get it. But I’ve got a bad feeling.” Jude puts his hand in his pocket, turning his stones over between his fingers. “If we push her away, she’s going to run.”
Oz joins us and takes over stacking the dishwasher. “We’ll finish up here.” The words ‘go talk to her’ are left unsaid and it occurs to me that maybe this game night wasn’t for Oz, but for me.
I go upstairs and rap my knuckles against Freya’s door.
“Come in,” she calls, her voice muted by the wood. She does a double take when she sees it’s me. “Oh, I thought you were Jude.”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“Yeah, you really should be.” She crosses her arms, but her words have no heat.
I shut the door behind me and lean against it.
The guest room has never really been used before. The only one of us with family that might visit is Oz and he tries to keep them as far away from this world as possible. I’m used to it just being this empty room but somehow Freya has filled it. A hairbrush and a tub of body cream sit next to her glass of water on the bedside table and some of her clothes are strewn over the end of the bed. She feels at home here.
I clear my throat and drag my gaze back over to Freya. “I did actually come here to apologize. The way I treated you in the hall the other day was not okay.”
Her breath leaves her in a rush, and she sits down on the end of her bed. “Oh yeah, what about all the other times?”
I dip my head. “I’m angry. I...have a right to be. But I put my hands on you. I crossed a line that I never thought I would cross and for that I am truly sorry.”
She watches me, not saying anything. Then she turns to look out the window, the stars white sparks against the dark sky. She shrugs a little. “I didn’t say no. And I don’t quite remember but I think I might have tried to hit you.”
The air huffs out of me. The knot inside my chest I’ve been carrying since that day unravels. “You did.”
She turns back to face me. “Then I guess I’m sorry too.” She stands up and crosses the room till we’re only a foot apart. “Will you tell me why you’re so angry?”
I take her in. My eyes trace from her bare feet, over her sleep shorts and her oversized t-shirt and stop at her delicate face. She looks so innocent like this. You’d never think she once took a knife and carved into flesh. “No,” I say.
She nods, like she knew that’s what my answer would be. “You should probably go then.”
My jaw tightens. “What if I don’t want to?”
She bites her lip. “You do. You may be sorry, but you still don’t like me.”
I push away from the door and step into Freya’s space, pulling her lip from between her teeth with my thumb.
She blinks up at me and I lean down till my face is inches from hers. “I like you too much.” I thread my hand through her wild hair and tug her head back till my lips whisper against hers. “I hate how much I like you.”
Freya’s breath shakes. She licks her lips, and her tongue catches the edge of mine.
I almost groan out loud.
“Why?” she asks.
My hand tightens in her hair and her pupils dilate. “Because liking you,” I say, “is the biggest fucking betrayal in the world.”
Freya places her palm on my chest, her eyes creasing. “To who?”
I suck in a breath, not liking how my heart’s tripping in my chest. I press my hips into Freya’s and spin us both around until she’s backed up against the door. I push my hand, still locked around her hair, against the wood, trapping her head to the door. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
She opens her mouth to respond but before she can, I kiss her. Her nails dig in through my shirt, but she doesn’t push me away and that tells me everything I need to know.
“Besides,” I say pulling back, “I don’t think you want me to like you.” She opens her mouth to speak but I don’t give her a chance. I crash my lips back against hers in a violent kiss.
