“Seems like he’s still holding out,” Blaze says. He grips the hem of my boxers. “Maybe this is softening the blow too much.”
Before I can complain, he pulls my boxers down, revealing my ass to everybody.
I hear somebody cough, but nobody says a word.
I want to be bitter and angry about that, but the pain is starting to get to me. All of it is starting to get to me.
I can practically hear my father’s voice in my ear telling me to man the fuck up, to do this, to tell them the truth instead of being a pussy.
Or maybe he’d tell me to take the beating and keep it to myself.
Then again, he’d always been up my ass to play nice with Pandora, because playing nice with Pandora meant making her father happy.
The next time the paddle comes down on my ass, I cry out, and that’s more embarrassing than the fact that my ass is hanging out into the air. Tears have begun to blur my vision — tears I am absolutely not letting fall — and I blink them back as I grit my teeth.
The moment I realize I can’t handle more than a handful more of these is the moment disgust races through me with such ferocity that I can barely stand it.
“One more time,” Blaze says, and he sounds positively gleeful about the idea of hitting me again.
It’s because of Pandora. I know it is. They think I’m her protector.
They don’t realize I want to destroy her as much as they do.
As soon as we find out what happens to Rachel, and as soon as we avenge her death, I’m done with her. They can do whatever they want, as long as they don’t get in my way in the meantime.
I have to give them something, or I’m the next one out of the door.
“I got in trouble with the mob, and they cut it off!” I finally say around the lump in my throat. “All right? That’s the fucking… the fucking truth.”
The paddle stops short. Blaze runs the smooth wood against my overheated, bruised ass, and I hate the sudden spike of pleasure that gives me.
“That wasn’t too bad. Good job, River,” Blaze says. “That’s how it’s done, boys. We’re your brothers now. You don’t fucking keep secrets from us. Got it?”
I plan on keeping a lot more secrets than this one.
I fall to the floor. Blaze ruffles my hair, and the condescending gesture pisses me off, but I don’t have the energy to argue with him.
I can’t handle more of the paddle, either.
I hear more secrets getting shouted, things that feel so insignificant compared to mine.
Nobody gets paddled as hard as I did.
And finally, Zayden says, “All right. One night down. You’ve got six days of hell week left to go.”
Six days.
If I’m already this shaken on the first night, if I already came this close to breaking down, what will the last day be like?
I guess I’ll find out.
13
ASCH
Blaze stops walking right in the middle of the sidewalk and stares down at his phone, scowling. “Ugh.”
A student behind us almost bumps into us, and he flips us off as he walks around Blaze.
