“I’m not going back,” I tell Blaze. “I’m quitting. I refuse to be part ofChaos?—”
“You aren’t quitting,” Blaze says. He puts an arm around me. “Come on. You’re putting everyone on edge, looking like you want to murder someone.”
That would be because I do, but I’m not stupid enough to say that aloud.
I look in the direction Mrs. Delgado had gone in. I want to find her, to apologize to her, to let her take out all of her anger and frustration on me like I won’t be able to do to the two people actually responsible for Franklin’s death.
It wouldn’t be the first time I stood there and let somebody pummel me, but it would be the first time I deserved it.
Instead, Blaze pulls me toward the door with a firm hold on me. I could break free if I wanted to, but what’s the point?
I let him guide me out of the hospital, grief and pain making my vision hazy.
Asch is waiting by the convertible. He holds the keys out to Blaze, then asks, “Are you okay to drive?”
Blaze huffs a small, unamused laugh. “Fucking sobered up, yeah.” He runs a hand through his disheveled blond hair before taking the keys. “Come on. We’ll take River home, then head back to the frat house.”
I get into the back of the car — where Franklin had suffocated, where Franklin haddied— feeling numb. I rub the stump where my pinky used to be, over and over, until it feels like I might open the skin and expose the bone beneath.
As we approach the campus, Blaze takes a turn away from my dorm.
“Blaze,” I say, breaking through the haze. “This is the wrong way.”
“It isn’t,” Blaze answers, and there’s a sharp edge to his voice. Heparks the car at the same parking lot by the woods where the stupid pledge week hunt had taken place.
“Why are we here?” I ask. “Take me home.”
“No.” Blaze gets out of the car and opens the back door for me.
I glance at Asch, who shrugs and gets out too.
I follow their lead even though all I want to do is get home and pass out in my bed, where I don’t have to think about any of this, where I don’t have to process any of this. I take out my phone, and even though I know it’s stupid, I send Franklin a text.
River
I’m sorry
I have ten new texts from Pandora, but I ignore them.
Then I hear whimpering. I snap my head up, and see somebody sitting against a tree, tied up. The sole lamp in the parking lot casts ominous shadows over him.
It’s Brock.
“Blaze!” Brock struggles against the rope. “Look, man, I get it. You can let me out now. I won’t do it again.”
Blaze smiles viciously at me. “I think we need to teach Brock a lesson about brotherhood, about what we do to people whokillour friends.”
Brock’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head quickly. “He’s not dead. It was just a bit of vape.”
I’m far from a stranger to violence, and the idea of getting my hands on him awakens something dark and ugly inside of me. “Yeah? Tell that to his fuckingmother,” I say savagely, closing the distance between us. As soon as I’m close enough, I kick him in the side. “You stupid motherfucker.”
You stupid little shit!
The words are at the forefront of my mind, reminding me that by doing this, I’m every bit as bad ashim.
In this moment, I don’t particularly care.
“Don’t kill him,” Asch says, his voice calm and oh-so-reasonable as he watches from nearby.
