I swallow a lump in my throat. I haven’t texted her today. I’vebeen too worried about everything else, and there’s no telling how she’s doing.
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t left New Valence for school. For all that she’d given me her blessing, I know another three years without having me at home to help is going to be difficult for her.
I realize that Pandora and Blaze have continued to chat about food while I zoned out, and I pay attention to the conversation again as we get to the door of the restaurant. I release Pandora’s arm so I can open it for them, stepping out of the way so they can go inside before I follow them in.
The hostess finds our reservation and doesn’t even seem perturbed at seeing three of us together like this. If she’s wondering about this strange date that features three people, she doesn’t say anything.
Will it one day be four of us, with River too? Will it seem less strange then, without me as the obvious third wheel?
As we walk to our table, the hairs rise on the back of my neck as I take in the sheer opulence. There’s a crystal chandelier hanging overhead. Every table has a neatly pressed white tablecloth and a small vase with real flowers. The other restaurant goers are all dressed in clothing more expensive than mine.
Blaze and Pandora fit right in.
They make such a hot couple.
Where the hell do I fit in?
We sit down at a round table, Pandora in the middle. She seems delighted by the decor, which imitates a French castle.
“Wow. I hope every dish tastes as good as this place looks,” Pandora says.
The hostess smiles at her. “I personally think it does. Your server will be right with you.”
We’re alone then, in our private corner. Blaze must have paid extra to ensure we have one of the more private areas, although the way the restaurant is laid out, most of the tables feel isolated. It’s thelighting and the angles, I realize, designed to create the illusion of intimacy.
Pandora leans closer to me, and I tense up until she presses a kiss to my cheek.
“Relax, Asch. Nobody’s going to slice your hamstrings just for being here,” she says.
Is it that obvious even to her that I don’t belong here?
Or is itespeciallyobvious that I don’t?
I force a smile at her. “I didn’t think they would,” I say, as though I have every right to be here even though I know that my credit card would decline if I tried to pay for a single drink tonight. I couldn’t afford this place in my wildest dreams, left to my own devices.
What will I do to impress my own dates when Blaze finally focuses on someone for himself?
What will I do if that woman is Pandora?
Blaze glances at me. “Why would they give you trouble? You fit right in.”
Do I, though? I feel like everyone can see at a glance that they can see the two-digit balance in my bank account.
Either way, even though my brain is insisting that I’m the third wheel on this particular date, they’re both actively including me. Maybe I’m being paranoid. Maybe this really is like it usually is, except Blaze and I are a little more invested in Pandora than we generally are in a woman.
It’ll pass quickly, then it’ll be back to just Blaze and me.
Except I’m not sure that’s what I actually want.
The server arrives before I have to give an answer, introducing himself and providing a list of the specials for the evening.
“And what would you like to drink?” he asks, his gaze on me first like he can see right through me.
“Water, please,” I tell him politely.
Blaze scans the wine list. “And whatever wine you recommend. A bottle for the table.”
Even though we’re all underage, the server doesn’t ask to see our IDs.
