"I've come to apologize. I thought you deserved a sober apology."
I waited, not wanting to move or blink, just in case she wasn't real.
"I also wanted to say my piece; then, if you want me to leave, I'll go."
I nodded faintly as my hand began to reach for her. I stopped it in time before she could notice.
Remember how much she hurt you, Deacon.I thought to myself, my soul aching for her to touch me.
"I lied when I said I didn't want your children because I do. I think about them all of the time. But I want to know they would be safe...and I don't know if I'd be a good enough mother to them."
I blinked, wondering if she's rehearsed this speech. She seemed genuine enough.
"I love you. I love you so much it hurts me. Loving you is not easy, Lucas. You're not exactly an angel."
"What are you saying, Alice?" I asked in a bored tone, sighing as I folded my arms.
I prayed she couldn't see how hard I was through my thin boxers or that she could tell from the way I was looking at her how much I fucking adored her.
"I want to try again. I swear, I'll be different. I mean, I'm not fucking okay with the Iliyana thing, and that shit stops right now. But I want to be your girlfriend again, I really do," she choked a little then, and I remained silent.
"I'm sorry, Alice. But it's not what I want. It's not good enough."
The tears fell then from her eyes as she wiped them away hurriedly.
"If that's how you feel, I'll leave. I just wanted to tell you." Alice's voice was hoarse as she turned away, my eyes on her the entire time.
She didn't look back as my heart thundered in my chest.
Could I let her go?
45
ALICE
Be brave, be brave. That's it, you've said your piece. Lucas said no.
The End.
I tried to ignore the pain in my stomach as I tried to digest what had just happened to me. So he spent the night fucking some Insta-model.
Ok, breathe.
I heard him behind me, his hand gripping my arm as I swallowed, desperately trying not to scream at him in anguish. I turned to see him staring at me, his eyes searching mine as he spoke.
"I said that's not what I want," Lucas said gruffly, pulling me close to him as a moan escaped my lips.
"I know, I'm leaving—” I sobbed, terrified he was going to kill me.
"I don't want you to be my girlfriend, Alice, but I don't want you to leave," he whispered, his forehead resting on mine as I closed my eyes, wondering what fresh hell this man was enticing me into.
"If you fuck me over again, I will kill you. Do you understand?"
The breath left my body as I nodded, wondering desperately what he meant by 'again.'
"I don't give second chances. You're a fucking exception to every rule I've ever made. But I will not hesitate to destroy you, or us, if you try and pull that shit with me again."
If I said I wasn't scared, I'd be lying. I was terrified. But part of me knew there was something else coming, and it kept me holding on.
