“No, but—”
“It’s your decision then. I’m just not comfortable lying.”
I slid into bed beside her, my fingers slipping around her waist as I pulled her close to me in the spooning position. The sheets were cool against my warm body, and I sat breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo as I buried my face into her hair.
“You’re fucking wonderful. Maybe as they get older, okay? You never have to lie, baby. Answer their questions, however, the fuck you want. I just don’t want them to be disappointed with who I am.”
She stiffened, the conversation hanging between us like a thin veil, easily punctured by words.
“What were you in New York, Cal?”
There.
She’d finally asked me. She’d never asked me, so I’d never told her. My throat felt dry and tight as I battled with the urge to tell her everything. I answered her honestly, but without the specific truth. Technicallynotlying.
“I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want you to stop loving me.”
I meant that, and she grabbed my hand in hers, bringing it to her lips. “I’m not naïve, Cal. I knew you were doing bad things; I didn’t want to have to make that choice—to be morally correct or to love you, regardless. Loving you always won.That’swhy I’ve never asked. But I knew. I alwaysknew. Still, I married you. I created a family with you. You left it behind when we moved here, right?’
Her breathing stopped as she waited for my answer, which I gave instantly.
“I became a fucking mechanic on shit money to be an honest man, baby. I swear. Not since we left.”
“They love you so much. Whatever you were, you will always be their daddy.”
I pulled her closer to me, wondering how the fuck I got so lucky with this angel. She loved me despite knowing I was a fuckup, a criminal, a gangster.
“I love you so fucking much,” I whispered in her ear, holding her tightly.
“Yeah, and I love you too. It’s a real shame you can’t help who you fall in love with.”
I laughed as she giggled, my hands finding her ribs quickly.
“Noooooo, don’t!” Gretchen screamed as I shrugged, tickling her mercilessly.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Tears spilled from her eyes as she laughed, her hands desperately trying to pull my fingers away as the sheets wrapped around us.
“Stop!” she begged, grabbing my side, causing us to tumble onto the floor in a heap as we both laughed. She was beneath me, her robe open as it revealed her breasts. I grabbed her wrists and held them above her head in one hand, kissing her neck softly as she groaned.
“Okay, I’ll stop.”
“No, not that...”
She writhed beneath me, sliding her legs around my waist, pulling me into her. Suddenly the door opened, and there stood a horrified Zane. He tried to avert his eyes, his cheeks flushing scarlet.
“Oh, God,” he muttered as he walked away, as Gretchen threw me off her, clawing at her robe hastily.
“Nothing was happening!Zane! We fell off the bed!” She yelled as she shot me a look.
I grinned as I pulled the sheets back onto the bed, watching her leave as she ran after Zane.
“He’s a big boy, babe, it’s cool,” I drawled with a laugh, hearing Zane’s embarrassed voice coming from his room.
“I’mbusy, Mom!”
Oh, the poor boy.
