“Bloods?” My breath catches in my throat, a chill creeping through my skin. “You mean like the gang? Are they the ones who kept you and Raze away from me?”
He nods, the darkness pooling within his gaze. “They’re merciless. We tried to make our escape without ever expecting to be pulled back. But after all the lives we’ve affected, they will come for us, and now that you’re caught in the middle of it—I can’t let them have you.”
My heart races, the gravity of this revelation tightening around my chest. “So, this isn’t just about unearthing our past? This is about keeping me safe?”
“It’s about more than that,” Hawk clarifies, the urgency in his voice breaking through layers of tension both fragile and pressing. “It’s about taking you away from here, getting you to a point where you no longer have to fear threats at your door—or the memories of a life that nearly suffocated you. I just need to buy us time to sort this out.”
I swallow hard, feeling the stakes rising higher. “But I need to understand this world—yours and Raze’s.”
“Do you really think we can keep you safe with the truth?” he asks, so earnestly that my heart sputters. “You’d never be able to look at us the same.”
“Maybe not,” I say softly, “but it’s the truth I want. Even if it shatters our illusions, it’ll be so much better than standing in the dark, lost.”
There’s a moment of silence as he weighs his decision and then nods. “All right, I’ll tell you everything. But I want you to know—if you decide you can’t handle this, you have every right to walk away. At any moment.”
I shake my head as conviction fills me. “I won’t leave. Everything I’ve fought for has led me to you, to this moment. I’ve felt the darkness breathe down my neck for far too long, and I refuse to run anymore.”
His breath hitches, and I can see the tension release just a bit in his jaw as he takes me in, his heart daring to trust again.
“Then let’s dig into this,” he says, the voice of a man prepared to lay his soul bare before me. “Let me show you the reality behind the shadows…”
The air thickens with possibility: clarity swirling with uncertainty, yet I feel ready to embrace whatever lies ahead, knowing the jagged edges of our truths could lead us closer to understanding—or tear us apart at the seams. As the raindrops keep rhythm against the window, I brace myself for the path ahead, a dance with destiny awaiting us both—hope intertwined with the shadows still lingering, navigating the tumultuous world that both connects us and threatens to pull us apart. But with each revelation comes the promise of something monumental—the fragile thread holding us together growing stronger with every unwavering dawn. For, dare I say, even through the storm, love could finally be waiting to rise.
And so, as Hawk begins to recount, navigating into the depths of secrets and revelations in a world I never truly understood, my heart beats forward, a dynamic rhythm blossoming with fierce courage—its light thriving in the dark.
"When you started dating Dustin and he isolated you from everyone, well, the reason we disappeared was because Dustin paid us to leave town. At the time we thought we were doing the right thing. He told us he'd kill you if we didn't leave, so we took the bribe and never looked back."
I clench my jaw, my teeth gritting painfully as anger surges through me once again. Here I thought they just moved on because they couldn't get around Dustin and his guard dogs, but it was much worse than that. They took money to leave me with the devil, knowing full well what he was capable of.
I feel sick to my fucking stomach.
nine
confidence
Raze (“Havoc”)
Walk Thru: Rich Homie Quan
My stomach churns with anxiety as I watch the heated confrontation between Hawk and Whitney unfold. The absence of his mask tells me something has gone horribly wrong—most likely, Whitney has discovered the truth about us. And that’s a fucking nightmare waiting to happen.
Back in California, when Whitney started dating Dustin, Hawk and I were already members of the Cali Bloods, a merciless gang notorious for drug trafficking, murder, and every conceivablecrime you can think of. But the worst part? Dustin was the ruthless kingpin, and he didn’t take kindly to us being friends with Whitney—his girl.
We attempted to keep our friendship a secret, but his underboss and some of the gang’s soldiers tracked us, reporting our secretive meetings back to him. He even had Whitney’s phone tapped, monitoring every call and text. Dustin was fucking furious when he discovered our secret. I can still remember all the times we rushed to her side when he’d unleash his fury on her for no reason at all. We begged her to leave him, but she seemed trapped in his suffocating grip. Dustin was aware of our bond; it didn’t matter that we were foster kids who shared a connection no one could break—or so we believed.
Things spiraled out of control when he threatened us, and more importantly, her. He warned that if we didn’t cut all ties, he’d kill her and force us to watch, or worse, he’d kill us and make her witness it, and I couldn't let her see something so gruesome. Dustin always reveled in sadism, and his reputation for cruelty preceded him. The ultimatum came down to being paid off to stay away. He offered us a substantial amount of money to leave town and sever all contact with her. We accepted, hoping he would protect her as he vowed, promising he’d cherish her as we had and never harm her.
But those were all fucking lies.
We thought we were doing what was best for her by stepping aside, allowing her and Dustin to be together without our interference. We took the money and moved to the East Coast, still clinging to the hope that he would keep his word, that everything he’d told us was genuine.
If we had known then what we know now, we never would have accepted his bribe and abandoned her. Regret gnaws at me—there’s no way to undo our choices, no way to take back what we wish we could. The thought of it sends a shiver downmy spine and tightens my chest. We left her in the clutches of a fucking monster who has ruined her life in countless ways. We’ve been watching her closely since she arrived in Boston, acutely aware that revealing ourselves would put us in Dustin’s crosshairs yet again, even with him in prison. None of us are safe, particularly Whitney.
All we wanted was to shield her from Dustin’s abuse. But I didn't want her to know about Hawk and my history with him, a wish that's now backfired. Now, she’ll be looking for answers I’m not ready to provide. I lean back against the brick wall outside her apartment, propping my foot against it as I light a preroll spiked with a touch of fentanyl, desperate to numb the pain coursing through me. The scars where Lux pulled the bullets from my body serve as a haunting reminder of how close I came to death just weeks ago. Yet if enduring that suffering would save and protect Whitney, I’d willingly face it a hundred times over.
I switch between a blunt and a cigarette, wanting to get high as fuck before I go see her, debating whether or not I should wear my mask. But then I think of all the times I've fucked her while wearing it, and it gets my dick hard. So I grab it and pull it over my face before slipping in through the balcony door; she never fucking locks it.
I turn the light on; a bright neon blue glow bounces off the glass door as I'm being swallowed by nothing but darkness. I pull it open, knowing where it sticks so it makes a noise unless you open it a certain way. I adjust the door quietly, hearing her and Hawk talking in her bedroom as I get passed the door, making sure to lock it behind me so that nobody else can sneak in.
