“If you were standing here, I’d knock you the fuck out.”
“What would you have me do? Keep letting her be plagued by them?”
I’m met with a dial tone. Fair enough. I try to call him back because I’m not done with the conversation and selfishly, I want to know how she is, but it won’t connect. The asshole blocked my number.
Instead of waiting for my alarm like I would normally, Ijust get up and make my coffee. When I open the door to exit the house, I’m not surprised to see Esky curled up on the blanket I leave out for her. She has been doing this since Morgan left. Every night Molly will take her to the homestead, and every morning I will find her at my doorstep. I should leave the door open for her.
When Morgan left, she didn’t just leave me; she left all of us. She wasn’t even here that long to put an impact on my life, but that’s what she has done.
I punched Beau in the face. Brent scolded me and sent me home giving me the rest of the day off. If Beau just shut his fucking mouth, then I wouldn’t have to hit it.
I’ve walked past the bedroom, her bedroom every morning and night. And every time, I stop at the door but force myself to walk past it.
But today is somehow different. Today I need her arms wrapped around me. I need her voice calling me “Cowboy”.
I need… her.
I push the door open, and I’m hit with her perfume. It’s like she’s still in here. For a minute, I close my eyes and pretend she is.
Esky walks in behind me; I turn to watch her walk to her Morgan’s bed and whimper. Picking her up, I place her on the bed and sit next to her.
“I miss her, too.” I scratch Esky’s head and look up to the desk. Sitting there is my hat, the one I gave her the night of the rodeo. The night I knew she was more than just my bestfriend’s sister. More than friends with benefits. I was just too stupid to say anything; too scared of being rejected or some shit.
Walking over, I notice a bit of paper folded under it. I unfold it to find the Magnolia and snake she drew her first night here. Under it, she has written what I told her,
“We are not determined by how others see or treat us. We are determined by what’s in our heart.”
I scrunch up the paper. “Fuck you Morgan, fuck you to hell and back.” I throw the paper out the door, surprised when it hits Brent.
Bending down he picks it up and flattens it out, “This is pretty. Morgan?”
I grunt my reply.
“Have a beer with me.”
It’s not a request so I follow him outside.
I don’t even sit down before he gets stuck into me.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
I open my mouth to reply, but he beats me to it.
“Punching your mate, snapping at everyone, and more importantly, not going after Morgan.”
I don’t answer him. I don’t want to talk about Morgan. I barely want to talk about punching Beau. He deserved it, kind of.
“Right, I’m going to be as blunt as I possibly can. Go get her.”
When I open my mouth to argue back, he holds up his hand.
“No but this, but that bullshit. You’re a fool for not following her. You don’t get love like you two often.”
Something passes through his eyes, he had love like that,and it was taken from him. Yet another reason not to fall in love.
“We didn’t love each other. It was just sex.” I take a swig from my beer bottle, not meeting his eyes.
“Fuck me, how dumb are you? Are you really going to deny having feelings for her?”
