We just walk back inside like nothing ever happened.
But my lips are still tingling. My stomach’s flipping over itself. I feel foolish. Like I just handed Ryan every piece of leverage he could ever want.
The worst part is how much I liked it.
What will I do when Ryan pulls away? Because he will. If I keep on this trajectory, he’s going to devastate me.
eleven
WREN
Wow.Annabeth may have been portrayed as a cute girl next door, but when Ryan eliminated her last night, she punched a hole in the kitchen wall. I stare at it as I eat my yogurt and berries.
It’s weird to me that anybody would be so upset over being kicked off, period, let alone being sent home so early into the contest. Who cares about winning? It’s so unlikely that Ryan will actually pick any particular bachelorette.
And yet, here is evidence that Heidicared.
I rush through getting dressed and getting my makeup done. I’m yawning the whole time even though I had coffee with breakfast. The elimination ceremony last night tookforever. We were all up past 1 a.m. and now we’re supposed to be perky and camera ready.Great.
We get in vans, bundled off on a day trip. I don’t even have the energy to be worried right now. At least I get my grande latte with whipped cream to soothe me as we drive. The girls are all silent, staring out the windows as they caffeinate themselves.
When the vans pull up in front of a small brick building with a faded sign that reads Hope Kitchen and Pantry, I think we’ve taken a wrong turn. I was expecting the contestants to becarried to an obstacle course or a paintball arena, but no. There’s no thrilling, heart-pounding ride to go on. Just a line of people waiting quietly outside and a folding table with someone taking down names.
I glance down at the hem of my dress, smoothing the fabric between my fingers. It’s soft and expensive, the kind of thing I never imagined wearing.
These clothes feel like armor. Not fake or flashy. Just… strong. I don’t feel like Jay’s awkward little sister in a hoodie. I feel sharp. Feminine. Like maybe I belong here after all.
This isn’t a date. It’s not even a challenge. I was bracing for paintball bruises or a pop quiz in heels, not… sincerity. This might actually be worse.
We move forward, the other bachelorettes clamoring as we crowd inside. As we go, the director claps his hands together.
“Okay, everyone. Today we’re going to do something a little different. There’s gonna be no competition here. We’re all going to work together to support a cause that means a lot to Ryan. Hunger relief.”
“Everybody will prep and serve meals or help pack boxes for the pantry. There is no end goal and no reward for finishing quickly. It’s important that we do our best work here. Right, Ryan?”
Apparently, Ryan has entered the building right behind us because he speaks from just behind me, scaring me half to death.
“That’s right. Thank you all for volunteering. Even though you weren’t actually volunteers. Today we’re going to do something that I do on a regular basis. So spread out and make sure you listen to the people that work here.”
There are groans coming from several of the bachelorettes. Mei starts filming immediately. Raven looks around and elbows Heidi. JacqLyn finds a pantry employee and starts asking for arundown of the positions that need to be filled. Me? I just stand here, trying to recalibrate.
This feels too sincere for a show that once held a “roses and rejections” dodgeball tournament.
A crew member comes up to me, offering an apron. I take it and put it over my head.
“Is this a real place?” I ask.
She just nods. “Yeah. It is. Ryan requested it specifically.”
I blink. “He requested a food pantry? Why?”
A woman in an apron hears me and looks up from a clipboard. “He volunteers here twice a month. No cameras, no press. He just shows up and works.”
Something thuds in my chest. He does this? For real? No spotlight, no Instagram reel? It doesn’t track. It doesn’t fit. Somehow, that makes it even harder to breathe.
I stare at her, wide-eyed. “Are we talking about the same Ryan?”
She points at him. Ryan, who’s standing across the room, talking to a person who came in for assistance. Definitely a description of a needy patron, even if I don’t want to say homeless.
