Natalia, who had displayed the patience of a saint throughout, encouraged Mandy to cradle the curve of her baby bump. Both women smiled as the baby made its presence known with a well-timed little kick, or ‘cosmic dance’ as Ebony referred to it.
When the ritual drew to a close, we were all left speechless for a moment.
The moment of contemplation was broken abruptly by a loud bubbling noise emanating from somewhere underneath Ebony. She pressed her lips together into a thin, restrained smile.
‘Was that what I thought it was?’ Lucy exclaimed, moving backwards in the water, away from a warm patch of bubbles around Ebony.
Natalia twitched her nose, suggesting her highly sensitive sense of smell due to pregnancy had detected somethingother than the earthy aroma of sandalwood and cedar from the incense.
Ebony let out another sound from her undercarriage, this time louder, sending a bubble plume to the surface with some speed. This was enough to make Lucy audibly snort, before breaking into hysterical laughter.
‘She farted!’ she howled, almost choking on the words because she found it so funny. Mum and I gripped our sides and burst into laughter too.
‘The exhalation of a cosmic gas perhaps?’ Lucy giggled uncontrollably.
I held my breath for a second, waiting for Ebony to come out with a spectacular cover-up for what was blatantly flatulence.
Even Mandy was giggling, and Natalia was unsure where to look.
The cosmic doula was impressively composed for a moment, perhaps relieved to have exorcised whatever gases were causing her discomfort, and then the corners of her mouth rose to form a wide smile.
‘There are some things, ladies, only Mother Nature controls. I give you the fourth element – air!’
‘Whether you believe any of it, or not, she’s good.Verygood.’ Mum sighed, as we relived the ritual from the safety of the hotel restaurant, after the trio had left in Mandy’s blacked-out Mercedes.
Lucy was nursing a weak bellini. ‘I don’t care if I’ll be drinking Gaviscon all evening, I need something to get over that,’ she howled. ‘The cosmic farting!’
Even Mum had tears in her eyes. ‘Oh, I needed that. There is nothing like a bloody good laugh.’
‘Do you think flatulence is a planned part of the ritual?’ I asked.
‘I love you, but you’resooogullible sometimes, Amber!’ Lucy exclaimed, before cracking up again.
‘I don’t know how you deal with this kind of madness day-in, day-out,’ Mum remarked.
‘It’s not boring.’ I smiled. ‘And there’s only another few weeks until I get the bonus. I’ve actually enjoyed this experience far more than I initially thought I would.’
We paused as a waiter delivered our afternoon tea on a pretty cake stand. We listened closely as he described in detail the filling of every sandwich and cake, and we salivated over the spread before us.
As we filled our plates, Mum asked me if there was anything I had learnt while working with Mandy. It was an interesting question, and it made me stop to think.
‘I’ve learnt that at the end of the day, we all have struggles because life is rarely linear, it’s a squiggle. And there is beauty in that,’ I replied.
Mum smiled affectionately. ‘Don’t ever lose this outlook, Amber,’ she said. ‘I’m so proud of you.’
I felt my mouth fall open.
‘That means a lot – thanks, Mum.’
‘And how about learning that even cosmic doulas are prone to windy-pops sometimes?’ added Lucy, and we all cracked up again.
Chapter Twenty-Six
WEEK EIGHT
Over the eighth week at Gables Manor, the energy felt different. I’m not sure whether this was down to Ebony, and the continued presence of joss sticks and chanting around the house, the calming influence of having Natalia and an unborn child in our midst, or perhaps it was because Jimi was back and with him a sense of humour and a lightness that I missed when he wasn’t here. We resumed our schedule of Pilates sessions in the gym, and I had finally mastered not blushing every time my eyes met his during sit-ups. I didn’t even dream about stealing a whole bar of cooking chocolate from the kitchen anymore, because I felt happy.
Last night Jose shared some news, which saw a sense of relief spread around the occupants of the house. Gathered in the drawing room, as we had been so many times over the last weeks, Jose dropped the bombshell that the family would be returning to LA a month early, in preparation of having the baby there.