Marcus chuckled gently at me. “I’m still having trouble computing that you turned down TremMark. That you’re willingly unemployed. Never would have called that.”
“And that’s a good thing,” Britta said decisively. “Letting yourself get lost can be empowering. Helps you discover new pathways and all that.”
“You’re right that I’m trying to be more open to possibilities,” I conceded, choosing my words carefully. “But to be fair, there’s not too much uncertainty, at least in the short term. I’m focused on being there for Johnny and Rosa.”
My mind went to Deck. All thepossibilitiesthere.
Marcus eyed me pensively. “Do you remember what I said when I broke our engagement?”
Huh?The random question jarred me from my thoughts. I glanced at Britta. Her chill when it came to the history between me and her husband always impressed me. She appeared more amused than anything.
“You said lots of things,” I answered Marcus dryly. “Can you be more specific?”
He ignored my snark. “On the day we split, I wanted to find something, anything, to get a rise out of you. You were so calm. It infuriated me.”
“You wanted me to scream at you?”
“We were together for years, and I never saw you be anything other than cool and methodical. Hell, the only time I ever heard you raise your voice was to yell at the TV during a Mariners game.”
“I remember. You called me a robot. You said that you didn’t think we should get married because I wasn’t looking for a husband to love. I was looking for a husband because I thought it was time to get married.”
Marcus nodded. “Right. I didn’t want to be some box you checked off on a list. And the robot comment—that’s what I was getting at just now.”
Annoyance threatened, but we’d rehashed this many times. “What do you mean?”
“I’m reminding you that you were willing to undermine your own happiness to stick to some convoluted plan. You would have married me even though we didn’t love each other the right way. And I knew it was because of how you’d grown up even though you never talked about it. You just wanted stability. To be settled.” Marcus patted the back of my hand. “Maybe this new willingness to be more uncertain, or even just talk about Everett without shutting down, signals a change. When I ended our engagement, I had to force you away from your plan. Now it’s like you’re finally trying to figure out what you really want. As your friend, I want you to find a life that makes you scream sometimes. Or at least clicks you out of robot mode.” He squeezed my fingers.
My thoughts returned to Deck. He certainly made me want to scream. And our relationship was definitely unsettling. Then and now. Being around him made me feel anything butrobotic.
Britta stared at me keenly. “Where did your mind just go, Cori?”
I shook my head, taking a long swig of my mimosa. “Nowhere.” I turned to Marcus. “When did you become such a sage?”
“I have my moments.”
“You certainly do,” Britta agreed, patting Marcus’s ass.
I rolled my eyes as my phone buzzed.
GRAHAM EVANS:Hi Cori. I hope it’s okay I’m texting you.
The visual of Graham’s name on my phone made my brain tilt sideways. We hadn’t spoken since the party on my last day at JBC. Recovering, I replied.
ME:Hi Graham. Totally fine to text. Is everything okay? I hope the JBC folks are settling in at TremMark.
GRAHAM EVANS:All things considered, I’d say it’s going smoothly.
I gave my screen a puzzled look, walking away from Marcus and Britta.
ME:That’s good to hear. Did you need something else, then?
ME:I hope it isn’t to offer me a job again. Because I’m even more sure of my decision to leave.
GRAHAM EVANS:I really admire you sticking to your guns. Like I said, there will always be a job here for you if you want it, but that wasn’t why I texted.
ME:?
GRAHAM EVANS:Yikes. I’m sorry I’m making such a muck of this.
