“Because she always knew you’d be back.”
I hummed. “I certainly left with the idea that I never would, but obviously, I was young.”
“Understandable. I had a moment when I considered attending college out of state. Nando is still in California, and Raymond plays in an orchestra in New York. Then I ended up in Eastern Washington and still got homesick.”
“Honestly, if I’d had Michael and María as parents, I would have gotten homesick too.”
She nodded. “You know they’d love to see you, right? Mamá and Pop.”
“Yeah. I’ll make sure to catch up with them soon. It’s surreal being back. There’s so much I’ve missed.”
She folded her arms across her chest and blew out a long breath. “After Deck got out, the first thing he asked my family was not to tell you. When we told him it wouldn’t be a problem because no one had heard from you since you left for college, he was surprised. I hadn’t thought much about it myself. People leave, right? I'd looked for you on Facebook and Instagram, but—”
“I don’t have social media.”
“That’s what I told Deck. He seemed upset, so I did a quick search and got the basics through your company website. Found out you were still in the area. When I suggested he try to contactyou, he bit my head off. It’s like he wanted to know you were okay, but he didn’t want to see you.”
That stung, but I understood more after seeing him last week. I thought about the unanswered letters I’d sent Deck before giving up.
“I don’t know what to say, Mari.” The nickname still felt familiar on my tongue. “When Deck got taken away… That night was just so awful—”
I didn’t know how to finish, and Marisol didn’t force me to.
“It was a crazy time when Deck first started getting settled. Once he bought that house and was talking to Johnny again, I figured you and he might cross paths, but it never happened. I hope you’re not mad at me for not telling you? Deck was just so adamant. I didn’t want to overstep or piss him off by reaching out myself. Since I hadn’t seen you since middle school, I wasn’t sure if you’d want that.”
“Definitely not mad. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t reach out. I feel like such an asshole for staying away.”
Marisol gave me a wry look, unfolding her arms and leaning in closer. “Cori, I realize I was just a kid back then, but I know there wassomethingbetween you and my brother. What happened that night was terrible. No one can fault you for doing whatever you needed to. We all have our shit. And deep down, we all worry that the worst parts of our past aren’t done with us.”
I stared at her for a long moment before my lips turned up. “How long have you been waiting to say that to me?”
“Since Rosa said you were coming. Pretty good, huh?”
“Yeah. Pretty good.” I shook my head. “Also, when did you stop calling your brother Artie?”
Sadness tinged her expression. “Since I got old and realized all his friends call him Deck,” she said quietly. “We’re still working on it, but I’d like to be that. His friend.”
I pushed down the lump in my throat as something else occurred to me.
“Wait. You said you’ve been thinking of reaching out since Deck started talking to my brother. You’ve seen Johnny too?”
“Once. He was sleeping on the couch at Deck’s when I went over to drop off some food. I didn’t wake him up, though, so I’m not sure if it counts. I haven’t actually spoken to him since we were kids.”
“Deck told you what happened to him last weekend?”
“Yeah. I hope that’s okay. Just the basics to me, my parents, and Emilio.”
I had updated Deck on Johnny’s entrance into rehab via the short, to-the-point texts we’d agreed on. It was reassuring to know his family cared too. Johnny needed all the people he could get.
I said as much to Marisol before adding, “A part of me thought turning my back on the neighborhood would allow me to reinvent myself. I didn’t realize until recently how much I missed certain things—Rosa, the Center, being comfortable in my own skin. It’s hard to believe you’re not a little girl anymore.”
“Well, you’re here now. That’s what matters.”
I hmphed. “I wish Deck felt that way.”
She winced. “It kills me to say it, but he’s not the same person you remember. Besides the obvious trauma from being locked up, since he got out, it’s like he’s been determined to convince everyone what a bad guy he is.”
“I got that message. He still blames himself for his friends and for what happened to me.”
