“It doesn’t matter what she wrote. It was my fault. Whether or not she sees that makes no difference.”
“That makes no sense,mijo. You helped her.”
“I’m the reason she was in that situation in the first place!”
Mamá scoffed. We’d had this conversation so many times. I knew she was tired of arguing with me. But her refusal to acknowledge the truth wouldn’t change my mind.
Cori’s bruised body and the bloody, torn panties on her bed—these images were my constant companions, even so many years later.
“Look, Artie,” Mamá said, “You not reaching out to Cori isn’t you protecting her. It’s punishing her. Once she finds out you’ve been back and talking to Johnny this whole time, withouteven bothering to let her know, she’s going to be hurt. We all remember you two were getting closer before that night. I’m sure you being gone is one reason she cut ties with the neighborhood and everyone here. But Rosa said she saw her at the mall a few months ago, that she’s looking for her way back. Besides, if you’re going to do anything for Johnny, you and Cori are going to need to work together.”
Mamá had been right. And not just about Johnny needing us both.
I hadn’t intentionally tried to hurt Cori by keeping my distance. My memories of that night were bad enough, so I could only imagine what haunted her. Seeing me and dredging it all up would not be good for anyone. And despite what Mamá thought, or even what Cori believed, itwasmy fault. Because I was the reckless one who brought so much pain into the lives of everyone I loved.
I exhaled heavily as I contemplated my phone. There was no way my family could be objective about Cori and me reconnecting.
But my fists were still itching, and since I wasn’t in the mood to repair drywall, I reached out to the one person I could always talk to.
ME:Meet for a beer tonight?
JUAN:Something up? Or just thirsty?
ME:Need to talk
ME:Johnny almost died
JUAN:WTF?
ME:He’s okay. I think. Going to hospital now
ME:Also you were right about the borrowed time
The three dots appeared and disappeared a few times before Juan’s next text came through. But of course, he knew me better than anyone.
JUAN:Cori?
ME:Yeah
JUAN:It was bound to happen
ME:I know
JUAN:7 tonight? Tubby’s?
ME:See you there
A way-too-cheerful nursetook me back to a private room, where I found Cori sitting on a rolling stool next to Johnny. She held his hand loosely to avoid disturbing the IV in his arm. He seemed half awake, head lolled over to the side. A sheet covered his shirtless torso to just above the waist. I did a double take at the sight of his body since it was usually hidden beneath an oversized hoodie. Everything about him looked sunken—his closed eyes, the hollows of his neck, the cavity of his chest. Cuts and bruises in various shades of yellow, purple, and blue marked his splotchy gray skin. He was so thin, practically a skeleton. The muscles of his arms stuck out, looking like knotty ropes.
While carrying him out of that house the day before, I’d simply been grateful he was alive. Seeing him like this, I realized what an absolute miracle it was that he hadn’t died.
I glanced at Cori. The same horror I felt was written all over her face.
But of course, her emotions weren’t stopping her from getting shit done.
“Hey, babe,” she said, reaching out a hand and raising her eyebrows at me. “Thanks for checking on the cat. How was your nap?”
I looked at her with a puzzled expression. She hitched her neck at the wall, which was actually just a thin curtain.
