Jayden nodded. “I always saw myself just doing whatever my brother did. He seemed happy.”
“That’s crazy, Jayden,” I said honestly. “You have options. I know this is a tougher neighborhood, but plenty of kids here go on to do great things and have successful careers. I get that it’s harder, that there are more opportunities to make bad choices maybe, but there are also ways to make the right ones. And as far as not knowing what you want to do with your life, that’s okay. Since you’re only sixteen.”
“I don’t feel sixteen,” Jayden admitted quietly. After a lengthy pause he asked, “Do you regret it? What you did to Chi-chi?”
Instead of answering directly, I responded with, “Can I tell you a story?”
He shrugged, and I interpreted that as agreement.
I propped my back against the cold porcelain of the new sinks and ran a hand over my face before speaking rapidly. “When I was eleven and my little sister was two, my parents went out one night and left me in charge of her. While I was upstairs getting her bath going, I heard shouting from the kitchen. Somehow, she’d managed to light one of the burners on the stove and set her clothes on fire.” I paused, gathering myself. Most people in my life knew this story, so it had been a while since I’d had to tell it. “I jumped on top of her and rolled around, smacking her with a dish towel until I put out the fire. I called 911, but she was screaming. Screaming in a way I’ll never unhear it. The paramedics got there quickly, but there were burns on twenty-five percent of her body. She had medical issues and surgeries until she was in fifth grade.”
Jayden digested the information stoically. “That’s what happened to Miss Marisol? Her scars?”
I nodded grimly. “That was my first bad choice.”
He shook his head sagely. “Nah, man. That was an accident. No one would blame you for that.”
“I see that now,” I said, “but only now. And that’s the bad choice I’m talking about, not believing everyone who told me it wasn’t my fault. My parents. My siblings. Even Marisol, once she was older. Instead, I beat myself up about it. For years. I used it to define myself as a fuckup.”
Jayden rested his shoulder against a stall door across from me. “Everyone likes Miss Mari,” he said thoughtfully. “What happened to her sucks. But what does that have to do with Chi-chi?”
“Two reasons. The first is to tell you it’s not the thing that got me locked up that I’d change if I could go back. It’s the choice to take all the blame for Marisol’s accident, because that one choice poisoned every choice that came after it. My hunch is you’ve already made a lot of poor decisions, especially lately. But you’ve been given an opportunity here to change things. The other reason is that I should have listened to the people who loved me. I should have listened when I asked for forgiveness, and they said there was nothing to forgive. I’m holding my situation up to you like a mirror because I want you to see. You say you don’t know what to do. I’m reminding you that you have people to ask. People who love you. People who will help you. Your mom. Everyone at the Center. And now me, okay? Even if you don’t have it all figured out, you know who has your best interests at heart. And it’s not your brother’s old crew. Or Alejandro. Or anyone else who doesn’t care if you get locked up, understand?”
Jayden fell into a crouch like a blunt object had struck him. “Yeah.”
“Being here is a good start. But stop pretending to have a hissy fit because the grout looks bad. You know that’s not the problem.”
Jayden eyeballed the tile. “Reign is good at it. I’m going to ask them to help me.”
“Reign is a natural,” I agreed. “I’m sure they’d be happy to know you think so too.”
He stood back up and faced me. “It’s almost five. Can I take off? I promised Amos I’d go by the store to fill out paperwork.”
“Uh-huh. But think about what I said.”
Jayden made a noncommittal sound that I supposed was better than open hostility. When he turned to leave, we saw Cori leaning outside the doorway.
Jayden brushed past her with a mumbled, “Hey, Miss Cori.”
“Nice to see you too, Jayden,” she called after him. She tapped Sandra on the shoulder to get her attention. “You can head out into the gym with Chuck to finish your shift,” Cori told her. “Deck won’t be working with the kids any more today.”
Sandra appeared startled to find herself in the same reality as us, but after looking up from her phone for a few seconds, she seemed to reorient to her surroundings and plodded off toward the atrium.
“How much of that did you hear?” I asked Cori.
“Your conversation with Jayden? Enough to make me remember how stubborn you were about letting me help you with your schoolwork.” She smiled.
After checking to make sure we were alone in the bathroom, I circled my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.
“You’re right, baby.” I spoke languidly into her ear. “I was extremelyrecalcitrantback then.” I kissed the hollow of her neck, causing her to shiver. “Definitelyobstinate.” I pressedmy mouth to her exposed collarbone. “And of course very, veryintractable.” She pushed me away as I nipped the underside of her jaw.
“You make me forget myself,” she admonished breathily.
“Wait till we get home,” I promised, picking up the tools Jayden had strewn about the work area.
She sighed, shoulders sagging. “Actually, when we get home, I might have to jump back on my emails for a while.”
I registered the worry in her tone. “What’s wrong? Is it Johnny?”
