“And that’s what I’m trying to make you understand, Will. I’m not interested in revisiting that day. Or changing the way I perceive it. The memory of what happened has kept me from forming any new attachments. It’s kept me sane. Safe.”
My heartbeat increased steadily as she spoke, realizing the full consequences of my actions. How she had processed the aftermath of meeting me.
Not only a man she’d made an instant connection with but also the cause of a near-death experience.
Her hesitance made much more sense to me now. But after the glimmer of hope she’d given me today, I no longer believed our past was something we couldn’t come back from.
I inhaled heavily. “You said before you felt like I’d tricked you into feeling things. Back then.”
She side-eyed me. “That’s right.”
“So, I just want to say that I intend to convince you that you’re wrong about me. About us and what we can be. I’m not manipulating you. I’m saying it plainly.”
“Saying what?”
“That I’m going to keep showing you who I am. Get to know you better, as much as you’ll let me. I’m not the monster you’ve built up in your head. I’m the man who just spent a half hour washing dishes with you. The one who snores and is bad at pouring champagne. You’re right that I did a terrible thing. I had reasons—” At her tight expression, I held my palms open. “I know, I know, you don’t want to hear them. But I don’t think we should stop exploring this thing between us because you’re afraid to give up control. Were you planning on just being alone your whole life and never being in a relationship?”
“It doesn’t matter because that’s not what’s happening here.” She pursed her lips in a sexy little pout, cocking her hip.
“Isn’t it?” I challenged, raising my eyebrows.
“No. Even if a time came when I allowed myself to feel things for someone, do you honestly think I’d let it happen with the man who humiliated me the way you did? Wouldn’t it be smarter to let my guard down with literally any other person? How big of a chump should I be?”
Her stubbornness was maddening, but then again, it was kind of glorious. It was one of the things that had drawn me to her initially—she could be sweet but also totally fierce. “Look, Maureen, I get where you’re coming from. But ten minutes ago, you admitted that you feel things for me. You may not like it, but here we are. Sometimes we don’t decide.”
She snorted. “You mean like it’s fate? The universe calls the shots? I don’t believe in that shit.”
I smiled wryly. “Honestly, neither do I. I’m just stating facts. And the fact is, I never felt with anyone the way I did with you five years ago. I think the same is true for you. A year ago, when I saw you in the auditorium, I felt it again. Just deep in me. You spark something. And the more I learn about you, even now, seeing how you are with your sisters, or Vivienne’s kids, justlistening to you laugh, I’m greedy for more. It’s impossible not to want you.”
She pursed her lips. “Well, that’s too bad. Just because you want something doesn’t make it right, doesn’t make it good for you. If I drank strawberry shakes from Five Guys as much as I wanted, I’d have diabetes. If I told off annoying customers at work as often as they deserved, I’d have been unemployed a lot sooner. Our gut instincts don’t always serve us well.”
Her words sounded decisive, but I saw the conflict in her stormy green eyes as she glared at me—an unmistakable hint of challenge lighting her features.
I could work with that.
I braved a step toward her. When she didn’t retreat, I ventured, “You sure about that?”
“Yes.” Her nostrils flared.
“You don’t even want to try to work out whatever this is between us? Explore things?”
“No.”
I inched closer. “Maybe pick up where we left off five years ago after talking all night?”
“No.”
“Or last year, when you shivered after I touched your fingers?”
“No.”
“How about fifteen minutes ago, when you put your arms around me in the kitchen before running away?”
“No.” It was the barest whisper.
I was practically on top of her now. My electrified brain wondered if I was pushing too hard, too fast, but the thumping of my heart dulled my restraint. I felt her proximity everywhere, arousal coursing through my veins. Even though it was freezing, I was a furnace, burning from my scalp to my toes to the tip of my very interested cock. It made me bold in the way I’d only ever been with her.
I angled in so we stood cheek to cheek and breathed into her ear. “Liar.”
