Once the dogs settled, Marley looked back toward me. The dreamy, glazed expression she’d been wearing a minute earlier was gone. Our dog-inspired reprieve had turned that flinch of hesitancy I’d noted into a full-blown retreat. She moved farther away on the couch, putting a foot of distance between us.
“James, I think we should take a pause,” she said, still slightly panting. “It’s been an emotional few days, and I know the thought of going to your reunion is…a lot.” She exhaled deeply and stood up. “I don’t know exactly what was happening just now, but I don’t want to get all caught up in a moment…and maybe make a mistake.”
Marley took a few steps over to the dining table and grabbed the back of a chair. I ran a hand over my beanie and squeezed my eyes shut, willing my erection to subside. Everything in me screamed to pull her back into my arms. To find out what those lips felt like. But she had a point. These past two days had been intense. Probably not the best time to elevate this situation. Changing our dynamic—the one built over countless hours spent together as friends—was a big deal.
I’d fallen for Marley. One hundred percent. And I hoped she was right there with me, even as her wide eyes pleaded with me to understand her hesitance.
But if we were going to take this further, I also wanted to earn it. To give her more of myself.
“How about we go outside and finish the lights?” I suggested. She responded with a grateful smile.
We got through the rest of the day with minimal awkwardness. By unspoken agreement, we didn’t talk about what had almost happened on the couch. There would be time for that. When I left that evening, I’d resolved to give her whatever space she needed, while also figuring out how to open up to her. I just wasn’t sure where to start.
My hours with Marleyplayed on a running loop in my brain for the rest of the weekend. Not only our near-miss kiss, but realizing I trusted her enough to want to introduce her to the less flattering pieces of my past. But those careful thoughts were derailed by some very disconcerting information I received when Principal Nadal called me into his office first thing Monday morning. Information that made getting clarity with Marley much more urgent.
He gave me the heads-up that there were some budget challenges, and I might not have a teaching position at Coleman Creek the following year. My contract lasted until June, but he didn’t sound hopeful it would be extended.
It was a blow. I’d come to this town for a fresh start, because I couldn’t stop feeling like a sad sack for being rejected by my ex-wife, for letting my business partner and supposed best friend get the better of me. Now I was possibly going to lose a job I loved. Would the hits ever stop coming?
Saturday, I’d been feeling fantastic. Thinking that someone as amazing as Marley might want to be with me. That I might finally be in a place where I could be honest with someone about who I was inside, that I could grow together with someone worthy of the effort. I knew she saw my insecurities—and she liked me anyway.
But if I couldn’t teach, was there even a reason for me to stay in Coleman Creek? Did it make sense to start something with Marley if I was going to be forced to leave next summer? Even if I found a teaching position elsewhere, Coleman Creek was her home. She’d made that clear.
I didn’t know what my next move should be. I’d already been dreading my reunion. And now I had job security to worry about. I needed to take a page out of Marley’s book and take things one step at a time.
Chapter seven
Marley
Iwokeupforschool Monday morning still thinking about the days James and I had spent together. Initially, I’d been worried putting the brakes on being more intimate would dampen our friendship, but with fresh perspective, I’d grown even more sure going slow was the best course of action. For both of us. The important thing was, he’d almost kissed me. He was as attracted to me as I was to him. The question of what to do about it didn’t need to be answered right away.
Besides, it wasn’t like James and I were destined for some grand love affair. I liked knowing he desired me. My ego thrilled that I’d captured the interest of someone as fascinating as him. I definitely wanted to see where the attraction led and enjoy the ride for however long it lasted. But I wasn’t delusional. I hadn’t been able to hold the attention of Kasen—the type of practical small-town guy I’d always assumed I’d end up with—so I had zero chance of James falling for me long-term.
There was also the fact I still had a lot to learn about him. Something important held him back. And whatever his hangup, I couldn’t force him to deal with it. I just needed to wait and see what happened next. Be patient.
The soreness in my muscles from all the box hauling and ladder climbing made its presence known as I rolled over to face the window. I could hear Oscar’s doggy snores from across the room where he lay curled up in his bed. Once he figured out I was awake, he jumped on the mattress. “What do you think will happen with James, boy?” I asked, scratching under his collar. He went back to sleep almost immediately, his snores right next to my ear. Like a rusty buzz saw. Time to get out of bed.
As I brushed my teeth and started the coffee, I could not stop reflecting on how James had become such an important person in my life in only three short months. I’d learned a lot more about him over the weekend, but in so many ways he remained a mystery.
My thoughts had been so consumed with him I completely forgot I’d unblocked Kasen’s number on Thanksgiving. So, when my ex’s text came through, it startled me.
KASEN:Hey Marley. I know you’ve blocked me but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. I saw your sisters the other day and I really hope they gave you the message that I’d love to reconnect. It’s been so long since we’ve talked and I just really really miss you. Maybe it’s selfish of me to ask when you clearly want space, but whenever you’re ready, just know that I would love to see you. I don’t want to be strangers.
I blinked and leaned heavily against the counter. These were the first words I’d heard from Kasen in five years. They hit like bricks on the freeway. Hard. And completely out of nowhere.
When I’d told my sisters I was over my ex, I’d absolutely meant it. But we’d been together for eight years. There was no way to tell the story of my life without including him in it. I just hadn’t thought about those chapters in a long time.
Leaving Kasen on read, I headed into work. I couldn’t worry about him right now. I had classes to teach.
Racing to beat my first period students, I saw James exit the principal’s office wearing an agitated expression. I wondered what that look was about, but the late bell was about to ring.
Figuring he could fill me in later that morning, I went about my usual routine. The students were rowdy after the long weekend, so getting them to settle down for a discussion about iambic pentameter required all my abilities.
But when our shared free period rolled around, James didn’t come to my classroom as usual. He texted an hour later to ask if I could meet him in the teacher’s lounge during lunch.
I arrived first, the only one in the small room except for Mr. Bailey, who huddled in the corner withTheWashington Post, mumbling something about wasteful government spending.
James came in a few minutes later, appearing unfocused and irritable. He and Mr. Bailey were generally friendly, but one look at James’s turbulent expression had the other man hiding behind the newspaper, raising it above his forehead.
