Page 97 of The Outline


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Renn’s demeanor grew lava hot in seconds as his chest heaved. He couldn’t be this upset over me hugging Pete. Was this just the result of the pressure cooker he’d been living in the past few months? Had something else happened? He’d been ready to blow for a while now, but this was next level. He was absolutely seething.

Twilight spilled in from the still-open door, streaking across the hard lines of Renn’s face as his jaw ticked.

“What happened this morning?” Pete broke our standoff as he stepped between us.

I started to answer, but Renn cut me off. “I went to the school and the counselor basically informed me Robbie is messed up in the head. So that fucking sucked. When I came out, I ran into one of the PTSA moms. And I guess I got caught up in finally having someone listen and just let me exist without demanding I overanalyze everything with them.” Renn exhaled as he looked between both of us and sing-songed: “You should talk more. We need to talk this out… Why the fuck does everyone always want to talk all the fucking time?”

Okay, we all had bad days, but this was beyond. Renn needed to get a grip. I hadn’t stood up to Henri today only to fail at standing up to the man I truly loved when he needed me. I squared my shoulders.

“First, she had her hands all over you, and you took your sweet-ass time pushing her away. Second, you then spent the entire day ignoring me. You had to have known how it hurt me to see her groping you, to see you opening up to her, but you didn’t even bother to text. Third, I only want you to talk because it’s clear your anger and grief are tearing you apart.” I waved my hand up and down in front of him, willing him to see his own outburst as evidence.

He took a step away from me, pressing a fist to his forehead.

The Renn I knew was in there somewhere because I could see him forcing himself to calm down. It was like watching a human balloon deflate. He closed his eyes and breathed out, moving his hands to his hips and stretching his fingers. After a few more deep breaths, he rolled his neck and shoulders before replying. “The thing with Hannah—I can’t explain it. At first, I didn’t realize she was touching me. I was so zoned out, but then I just…I guess it was nice to feel like someone wanted me without wanting something from me, you know?”

“Oh, she wanted something from you.” I looked down pointedly at his crotch.

He huffed. “Okay, I mean, I know she wantedthat. But lately, you’ve just been… It hasn’t been as easy as it used to be.”

“Well, duh. We’re sharing our lives together. It isn’t all going to be good times.”

“I get that. At least, I hope I do. But all the things you want from me—like, I know you want me to talk about my dad—and I just don’t think I can. I don’t want to.”

Me being in Renn’s life was supposed to help ease his burdens, but if he insisted on keeping me at arm’s length, that wouldn’t work. Having a girlfriend he hid his feelings from would actually add to his difficulties.

Since the snow globe incident, I’d been thinking the change in Renn had stemmed from his interactions with Pete, but he was clearly unnerved that I kept catching him in vulnerable moments. Before we were together, he had shared some of his feelings with me, even about his dad, but always on his terms, controlled. Now, he saw concern on my face every time he had a fight with his uncle or a worrying interaction with Robbie. I pressed him to confide in me because I loved him and needed him to know I had his back. But he didn’t seem to want that.

Pete had stood there awkwardly through our exchange but attempted his escape. “Uh…guess I’ll meet you at the game.” He reached over to grab the mitt I’d put on the table.

“Wait!”

Pete and I both turned at Renn’s shout. “Hang on, Pete. You need to hear this.” Conversation with me temporarily paused, Renn gestured for us to sit. I could only assume he was about to tell us why he’d come in so bothered. They sat down on two pleather waiting area chairs while I grabbed a nearby rolling stool. Renn stumbled over his next words. “When I got here and saw you guys…hugging…I…um…I had another thing…” He pressed his lips together.

At his expression, I put aside that he’d just said he didn’t ever want toreallytalk to me and focused on the fact that something else was obviously upsetting him. “What’s wrong?”

He looked at me. “I was going to text you. I just needed a minute to cool off. Plus, I had to tell Hannah it was never gonna happen.” I smiled at that, and it was enough to get him speaking more confidently. “I saw you drive off. I was about to text, but I got a call from my mom. She was in Riverside and needed me to come pick her up. Her call cut off abruptly, and I got worried. I guess texting you sort of slipped my mind. Anyway, when I found her, she was wasted, told me some guy she’s been dating got pissed and just left her there. I drove her back to the city and the whole time she’s just going on and on about how sorry she is for bothering me, how grateful she is that I came. And all I can think is ‘I can’t believe this person is my mom.’” Renn stopped himself from saying more. Stopping himself from saying too much was one of his superpowers. “In the end she was fine.”

“But why didn’t you text Sadie once you knew Sheryl was okay? Or reply to any of the dozen texts I sent you?” Pete asked. “You had to have dropped your mom off hours ago.”

“Because I got your texts, Pete. And I stopped by the house to check for the mitt, but I didn’t get three feet inside before I saw the mail in the slot by the door.” Renn reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded white envelope with a ragged edge, obviously opened in haste with a finger. He handed it to his uncle.

“Congratulations. It’s a boy.”

The LZN Laboratories logo was clear in the corner of the envelope as Pete took it from Renn’s fingers. Pete appeared confused at first, and then his features slowly brightened with something bordering on elation. He leaned back in the chair and pulled the thin white paper from its sleeve. His eyes scanned the page and his lips moved as he read under his breath, “…99.9% accurate…” He looked at his nephew in awe before reverently and quietly affirming, “He’s really mine.”

“I know they addressed it to you, but I won’t apologize for opening it,” Renn declared. “I saw it at the top of the pile and there was no way I wasn’t going to.”

“I understand, Renn. It’s fine.” Pete’s hand trembled as he held the letter. The shivering seemed to catch over his whole body, knees bouncing in front of him as he blinked repeatedly. Despite obvious efforts to hold himself in check, he emitted a shuddering breath as tears started falling down his cheeks.

Renn seemed uncomfortable with Pete’s display of emotion. He kept talking. “Once I saw what it said, I just got in my car and started driving. I had to get my thoughts together. That’s why I didn’t text, and I forgot about the mitt until I got here. It’s just…a lot.”

Pete sat heavily in his chair, head in his hands. From beneath the cocoon of his fingers, he murmured, “I realize the situation is totally fucked, but I am so happy right now.” He peered up, eyes wet and shiny. “I didn’t want to admit how much I wanted him to be mine.” He looked at Renn imploringly. “I know how hard it’ll be to tell him and we’ll need to make a plan and come up with the best way and all that, and I’ll do it however you decide, because I get you’ve been the boss, and I don’t even know if we should change our arrangements, at least not yet, and—”

“Pete!” Renn frowned at his uncle. “I’m not ready to think about any of this right now. Obviously, we’ll need to…decide things. But I can’t wrap my head around any of it today.”

“Of course, of course. That makes total sense. We’ll do whatever you think is best.” Pete wiped his eyes with his sleeve before glancing at Renn, who looked disoriented and rigid in his chair, a far cry from the berserker madman who’d come blazing in fifteen minutes ago. The ecstatic new father looked at me. I gestured to the exit with my neck, and Pete got the message to give us some space.

“Just let me know when you’re ready, Renn.” He grabbed Gage’s mitt—his son’s mitt—and headed out. “I’ll see you at the game. If you decide not to come, just text, and I’ll make an excuse.” His nephew still appeared lost, so he appealed to me for confirmation, and I nodded.