Idealistic or not, he wasn’t faking his desire to make things alright for me. And I recognized that I’d been wrong to assume Renn’s age and breezy nature somehow translated into a lack of substance. Sure, he was younger, much younger, and he looked different from what I’d pictured, but the fundamentals were the same. We connected. I sensed it. And as he met my eyes and smiled withthat fucking dimple,changing the music over to Bowie, I knew he did too.
“Okay, Renn, I’m fine now. I can’t promise you I’m ever going to be one hundred percent comfortable twisting myself on your table here, but I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
He grinned. “I promise to keep the Cirque de Soleil level bends to a minimum.”
I settled as best I could as Renn’s fingers rubbed lotion into my thigh. A moment later, I heard the tattoo gun buzzing, and then the first prick of the needle sunk into my skin.
“Well. You’re not a tattoo virgin anymore,” he said, keeping his eyes firmly on his work. “How does that feel?”
“Honestly, a bit like getting my eyebrows threaded, if we’re talking about a pain scale, so not that bad. I can see why I read on the Internet that some people fall asleep getting tattoos.”
“Are you planning to sleep?”
I chuffed. “Um…I couldn’t sleep right now even if I’d run a marathon, eaten an entire Thanksgiving turkey, and taken two Ambien.”
Renn had to stop working for a moment to laugh. “Don’t worry. Lots of first-timers are nervous.” He paused before continuing seriously. “I’m just glad you’re here. Doing this piece, the faith you put in me to design something with so few limits, it’s gotten me excited about my art again. You’re like the pop of artistic adrenaline I didn’t know I needed. I can’t tell you how many tattoos I sleepwalk through these days.”
“That’s a nice thing to say.”
“It’s true.” Shaking his head, he smiled and added, “I mean, you did say in one of your texts you thoughtParks and Recreationis a better show thanThe Office. It clued me in that we would click.”
I recalled the exchange from a few months ago. In our messages, I’d mentioned that I was finishing up my third re-watch of the series. When he’d texted back with a GIF of Lil’ Sebastian, we got extensively sidetracked talking about our shared love for all thingsParks and Rec. He eventually got us back on course by imploring me, “Treat yo’ self…to making some decisions about the sketches I sent you,” and I had laughed out loud in the bar at his corniness.
Renn continued with the outline. We talked. About nothing and everything. The superiority of certain Marvel movies, our favorite local restaurants, extracurriculars we’d done in high school. I told him stories from Hal’s, including how we were trying to figure out which regular kept stealing all our toilet paper. He told me about some of the weirdest tattoos he’d ever done. I hadn’t known that people got the inside of their lips tattooed. There were also tattoos he was sick of doing. No more butterflies, stars, or Deathly Hallows symbols if he could help it.
Ninety minutes passed. Renn let me up to stretch and check out the progress in the mirror. After I walked around a bit and he gulped a Red Bull, I laid back down with much less stress than the first time, even with the tear in the paper. We finished Bowie and started in on Led Zeppelin until two hours later when Renn pronounced himself done for the day, cleansing my thigh, and placing a layer of protective plastic over my skin.
I stood to admire my leg in the mirror while Renn straightened up his workstation.
“Do you have any more clients?”
“Nah…we went for over three hours. That’s plenty for today.”
He stretched his arms above his head, flexing his biceps and revealing his tight abs. The immediate flash ofwantI felt was enough to steer me toward the door. “Okay. Well, enjoy the rest of your Sunday.”
I grabbed my purse, but Renn called out. “Sadie?”
“Yeah?”
I watched as he walked to me, eyes directed at my new ink, before squatting down beside my leg. I couldn’t help but notice the sheen of sweat along his neck—tattooing was hard work—and the contour of his chest under his t-shirt. Our eyes met as he slowly reached up and removed the tape from my waistband, rolling my shorts back down.
“Thanks,” I replied throatily, feeling warmer than when I’d been cemented to the table.
“It looks good, right?” he asked, tilting his head toward my thigh.
“It does. I already love it.” My heart sped up at his continued nearness.
“I know it’s technically my job, but…I really enjoyed talking to you, Sadie. I can’t remember the last time I thought…the session went by so fast.” He appeared almost bewildered, still squatting in front of me, looking at the outline. “It’s going to be fun filling this in.”
He raised a thumb to my thigh, dragging it along the edge of the plastic covering. “It was peeling up a bit,” he explained, talking to my leg, thumb still moving slightly. As he remained in place, the air charged quickly in the silence. His breath skimmed over my hip. He swallowed roughly before peering up at me. Our eyes locked.
I forced myself to turn away.
“I should go, Renn. I’m sure the other artists will be here soon, so you should probably turn on some Hungarian speed metal. I’ll see you in three weeks.”
Reverie broken, he rose unhurriedly. His smile was genuine when he aimed it at me and told me not to swim or get too much direct sunlight on my leg. I promised him I wouldn’t and headed out as he went back to humming Carole King. After a quick gulp of fresh air while leaning against the wall outside the studio, I attempted to assess the situation rationally.
If I had to be unintentionally attracted to someone post-Henri, Renn had certainly demonstrated his worthiness—putting me at ease on the table, laughing at my jokes, making me feel interesting. In another universe, one where I was ready for love, wasn’t paying Renn for his services, and he was in his thirties, we might have been a good match. But in this world, the timing was bad, he was off-limits, and an inappropriate age. Still, he was going to leave an indelible mark on me. I looked down at the outline of the lotus and ouroboros taking shape on my leg and smiled.