Turning to Renn, he asked, “What do you want to know?”
“All of it. I don’t need the dirty details, but the rest.” Renn dropped my hand but moved it to pull me loosely to his side. “You can thank Sadie for me giving you a chance to explain, instead of me just punching you out. I’d encourage you to not waste the opportunity.”
Renn’s acknowledgment of my influence in this situation made me queasy. I really, really wasn’t ready to be involved in this level of drama. But I did my best to stay stoic, not wanting to draw attention to myself at this critical moment.
“I’ll tell you everything.” Pete began. “I thought I was doing everyone a favor keeping this secret, but really, it just poisoned the well.”
“That’s real poetic, Pete. Now talk.”
“I’m getting there. If you’ve read that card, you can already guess the gist of it. Mary and I had a thing. You understand that your dad and Mary only stayed together because she got pregnant with Robbie. It was never smooth. After he was born, Thomas put everything into the shop and making it a success. He worked a lot, took care of you. You know your mom was the love of your dad’s life, and that never changed. If he could have convinced her to give up the bottle, your parents would have stayed together, no doubt.” He inhaled deeply, running his palms back and forth across his thighs. “Mary sensed that. She told me she always felt like second choice. She hoped it might get better when they moved to Pasadena, but it didn’t. She was isolated, had a toddler, no friends in the neighborhood. Your dad was so busy with the studio, he asked me to check on her. So, I did. We were friends, and eventually…it changed.”
I closed my eyes, shielding myself from the current as the heavy waves of Pete’s regret rolled across the room. Archie folded his arms over his chest and looked down at the floor. Renn’s body stiffened, but he said nothing as Pete continued.
“Don’t ask me why I did it, Renn. I wouldn’t be able to tell you. She was there, we were close, and on some level, I was jealous of your dad and how he was so successful and everybody loved him. Technically, we owned the shop together, but he was the driving force. There was something about Mary that made me feel good, as if her liking me more meant I could finally be better than Thomas at something.”
Archie hmphed grumpily at the same time Renn offered, “That’s fucked up.”
“Completely fucked up,” Pete agreed. “And it didn’t last very long. When it became clear that Mary was way more invested than I was, I stopped it. She thought we were destiny or something, that she was in love with me. I was never there with her. Never.” He sat up taller in his chair before breathing out slowly through his nose.
“So, I ended it. I said some terrible things, trying to convince her what we were doing was wrong and Thomas should never find out. She finally accepted what I was saying and agreed not to tell him. A few months later, I got that card.”
“And you kept it?”
“I can’t explain exactly, Renn. I was still dealing with everything when I put it in the picture frame, and I wasn’t ready to throw it away. Eventually, I just forgot it was there.”
“Archie said my dad knew?”
“He figured it out. I’m not sure how. Mary swore she wouldn’t tell him, but I guess it was how we acted around each other, or because I stayed away after that. But right before they went to Costa Rica, he told me he knew, and that he didn’t want to discuss it with me, ever.”
At that, Archie stood up from where he’d been leaning against the wall.
“She lied.” Archie sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead with tatted fingers. “If Mary said she didn’t tell him, then she lied. They were fighting viciously one night and she told him, threw it in his face. After a few days on my couch, he decided to go home and work it out. He said he felt responsible in a way because he’d always loved Renn’s mom the most, so he owed Mary a pass. He thought they could salvage things, since Pete and Mary had ended the affair years before. Thomas told me the thing he wanted most was to just put it in the rearview and not bring it up again.”
Renn looked like he was doing complex equations in his head. He stepped away from me and reached his arm behind him, placing a palm against his neck as he paced the floor. “Alright, Pete. I think I get the basics of what happened. But that brief affair you had with Mary was enough to keep you from your family? Just the guilt from that? All this time?”
“No. Not from that.”
“Then why?”
“I felt guilty about the affair. It never should have happened. But that wouldn’t have been enough to keep me away.”
“Okay…”
“Renn, I know you promised to tell Robbie the truth, and I’m going to give it to you. But I want to say that I think this is something he and Gage don’t need to hear. They deserve to remember their mom the right way.”
“Just tell me.”
Pete nodded and straightened his shoulders. “After your dad died, Mary waited a few months and then came to me. She wanted to try. To be together. The idea was horrifying, of course. I was so raw from missing Thomas. If you remember, during that time right after he died, I was around. You were busy going off half-wild, but for those six months, I was the one helping Mary with the boys and keeping the shop going.”
“If you say so.”
“I was trying to do the right thing, but me being around so much, it must have made her think… She kept coming on to me, at first just little comments, but then one night she crawled into my bed. I’m still not sure she knew what she was doing, and of course I shut her down. She was really upset, had been drinking, and started crying about how I was the love of her life and we should be together. I tried to let her down gently. I promise you, I tried! Tried to explain that I never felt like that about her. But she just wouldn’t accept it. We went in circles for a while and finally, I got angry. I said some terrible things because I needed her to give it up.”
“What things?”
“I don’t remember it word for word, but I’m pretty sure I accused her of being a shitty mother and a terrible wife to Thomas, not grieving him properly. I told her I could never love someone like her.” I had been staring at the floor as Pete’s story unfolded. But I looked up at that last part, as the raw emotion in Pete’s voice blanketed the space.
“Jesus.” Renn and Archie jinxed each other with the sentiment.
