“Today’s my birthday.”
“What?” Renn seemed confused for a moment as my statement sank in, before exclaiming, “It’s your birthday!? Jesus, happy birthday. How did I not know this?”
“Meh. I think I mentioned it, but I didn’t exactly drive home the date. I don’t want to make a big deal about it.” Shoving my hands in my pockets, I stood tall. “The thing is, I’m thirty-five today and in a much better place than I was at thirty-four, and definitely better than thirty-three. When I was with Henri, I never could have told him not to yell at me. With you, I feel safe enough to do so. Wanna know why?”
He gazed at me as he shook his head. “Why?”
“Partly because I’m getting my act together, but partly because of meeting you, seeing you exist in the world. Because you’re a good man. And I needed to know there were people out there like you. Even if you yell sometimes and aren’t perfect. I think you can figure this out with Pete. You’re good at taking care of people. You’re reeling now, but I know you can get through this, make it okay for you and your brothers.”
Renn reached for my hand and kissed the back of it. “I hope I’m worthy of your faith.”
“You are.”
“The thing is, my dad and Mary went to Costa Rica to work on their marriage. Things were hard between them at the end. Frankly, things were pretty rough the whole time.”
“You’re saying it’s Pete’s fault Thomas died because he caused problems in their marriage?”
“I mean, maybe?” Renn drew out that last word, seeming to have calmed. “It’s just hard not to blame him, seeing this note.”
“It’s a crappy thing to find out, for sure. But you need to talk to him. He told me at the race he wants to make amends. I think he stayed away because of this.” I was sensitive to the situation, especially considering my history with Henri, but everything I knew about Pete led me to believe he was genuinely remorseful, not a narcissistic asshole.
“That seems obvious now. I just don’t know if I can forgive him.”
“I understand. But he is your uncle. If you decide not to forgive him because of something that happened, what—almost a decade ago—that’s a big deal. Take it from me. I don’t have any family left, no one to cut off. Not an aunt or an uncle, a sibling or a cousin.”
“God, Sadie. You’ve told me that before, but I didn’t really get it, not truly, until just now. I mean, Robbie and Gage can be a handful, but I’m grateful for them every day. Hell, I even see my mom every few months.”
“You do?” He nodded but didn’t elaborate, and I figured we’d unearthed enough family secrets for one day.
Renn’s face softened, and he sighed with relief as I allowed him to wrap his arms around my shoulders. He twined his fingers together in a crown behind my neck.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
He leaned his forehead against mine and his warm breath caressed my skin like velvet. “Well, first I’m going to take Robbie home, try to calm him down. I don’t think Gage needs to know about this. And then I guess I’ll call Pete, tell him what happened, find out if he wants to talk things out.”
That sounded like a good plan. Renn’s quick return to reason was encouraging, but it called to mind the conversation I’d overheard him have with Archie last month.
“Renn, do you think Archie knew?”
He considered the question a few moments before replying. “I do. I remember when I was young that he and Pete were cool, but they’ve been low-key angry with each other for a long time, basically since Mary came into our lives, so he must have known.”
“Well, I’d imagine it’s been hard for him to keep it to himself, but I respect that he kept his nose out of your business. He’ll probably be glad to get things aired out.”
Renn laughed. “Maybe. Archie’s a chill guy. But I’m pretty sure he enjoys having free rein to unleash any dickish parts of himself on my uncle. I can relate. I’m not sure I know what to say to Pete now.”
“Hey.” I pulled back and forced him to look at me. “Just make the call. Talk to your uncle, see where it goes from there. No need to write out a whole script just yet.”
Renn moved to link his hands behind my waist as he spoke. “Oh, and how did you get so wise?”
I grinned. “A full year of therapy and thirty-three years before that being a stupid idiot.”
“Don’t call one of my favorite people an idiot.” He pecked my forehead.
“Fine. I’m just saying I have a lot of experience making poor decisions. Now you can learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to repeat them. Lesson number one—don’t take your family for granted.”
“Alright, Obi-Wan. I’ll keep it in mind.” He kissed the side of my neck again before wrapping me in a tight embrace and whispering in my ear. “Happy birthday, beautiful. I’m sorry for how it’s gone down, and that your special day got lost in all this, but I’m really glad you were born.”
In the mirror, I looked at the blue tips of the lotus, the ouroboros making a meal of its tail, the broken-down wall and chains of my tattoo. Renn would be with me no matter what. He pulled away and gestured that he was going to check on Robbie, frowning at the almost-full waterline in the trash can as he passed it.
