Page 71 of Where We Burn


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His broad shoulders—the ones that carry the weight of his farm, his son’s hatred, and now this thing between us—slump forward.

“Deep down, I know I don’t have anything to offer you, and I know a life with me would be like offering you a cage and asking you towalk right in and throw away the key.” Tears glass over his eyes, turning them into mirrors that reflect all my own pain. “But I thought maybe—just maybe—what I feel for you could be worth it. I thought I could bury all the reasons why this was wrong because maybe I deserve something more for once in my life. I thought that maybe I deserve you. Instead, you’re running. And for what? Because of Travis? Because of the son who’s hated my existence since he took his first breath? He has no fucking right to dictate what I do to find happiness when he’d rip it away from me without a second thought.”

This incredible, beautiful man is laying himself bare in front of me, stripped down to the bones of who he is. No bravado. No walls. Just pain and truth and everything I don’t deserve. Tears slip down my cheeks unchecked, and then I hear the harsh blare of my sister’s horn out front like the universe couldn’t wait to remind me that I’m leaving.

That I chose to leave.

Christian steps forward and presses his forehead to mine, breathing me in like he’s trying to memorize the way I smell before I disappear.

“I told you before,” he whispers, his voice cracking ever so slightly, “you deserve everything this world has to offer, so when you walk out that door, you better promise me you’ll go out there and get it. Because I refuse to give you up for anything less.”

“Christian, I don’t…” My voice breaks on the words, because how do I sayI love you,andI’m sorry,andPlease don’t let me goall at once?

“You don’t have to say anything. You made your decision. You packed your bags. Whatever you think you feel for me”—I watch his throat bob as he swallows hard—“it wasn’t enough to make you stay. Wasn’t even enough for a conversation before you decided to run.”

Travis told me if I stayed, I’d be the one holding the match when it all burned. But here I am, flames licking up my spine, and I’m the one turning to ash.And the worst part is that I still managed to hurt him anyway.

“Your sister’s waiting,” he says. “Go, darlin’… before I can’t let you.”

Fuck this.

I yank my coat tight around me, snatch my bags off the floor with shaking hands, and storm out of the house. The stars mock me fromabove—bright, smug little bastards—the same ones Christian and I stared at last week from his porch swing, when his hands traced patterns on my skin and he whispered secrets against my neck, and now I’m marching toward my sister’s car like none of that meant a fucking thing. I catch Violet throwing her hands up through the window the second she sees me. She’s got thatwhat-the-actual-hellexpression on her face as I drop into the passenger seat with a thud, leaving the door wide open, and my bags scattered across the frozen gravel.

“Um, are you planning on leaving your stuff out here to freeze, or can we shut the door? Because my tits are about to fall off.”

I don’t speak. I just stare straight ahead at the closed front door—the one I just walked out of like the world’s biggest coward.

“Earth to Piper?”

“You know that man in there? He’s never had anyone fight for him a day in his life, not really.”

“Okay, well, can we maybe have this breakdown with the heat on? I can’t feel my face, and I’m starting to wonder if I even have nipples anymore.”

“I mean, yeah, he’s got Callan,” I say, ignoring her completely. “And those two would take a bullet for each other. But when has anyone actually chosen him first? When has someone looked at that gorgeous, selfless man and decided he was worth the fight? Worth proving that he fucking matters?”

“From what I hear, he had great parents, which is more than a lot of people get.”

“He’s so much more than what the world’s given him, and I left. I fucking left.” I blink hard, but it’s no use. My eyes are already burning, and my stubborn tears cling to my lashes.

“His mom died when he was just a kid,” I choke out as rage and grief get caught in my throat. “From that moment on, everyone decided for him—told him that this farm, this place, was his path. And sure, he loves it… but it wasn’t a choice. It was just what he was expected to do.”

I swallow hard, my fingers digging into my thighs like I can hold myself together if I just grip tight enough.

“He made one mistake and ended up with Travis, who really should’ve been swallowed or left in a tissue. Then they tried to steal his whole future by forcing him into some loveless marriage with that she-devil.” I wipe my face, but the tears keep coming. “And that ungrateful little bastard treats Christian like something he scraped off his boot and still expects him to smile through it. All Travis wants is for Christian to be miserable—hell, that’s the only reason he started dating me in the first place. Like, what kind of fucked-up person do you have to be to use someone just to hurt your own father?”

I press my hands against my eyes until I see stars, like I can physically push back the tears.

“All Travis does is take and take, and Christian just keeps giving, like maybe if he bleeds himself dry enough times, his son might finally love him. And now, for the first fucking time, he chose himself. He said no to the bullshit and the expectations, and he chose something that made him happy, and what did I do? I threw it back in his face. I practically told him to go fuck himself, Jesus Christ.”

My fist connects with the dashboard hard enough to sting. Violet doesn’t say a word. She just sits there and lets me fall apart, like she knows I need to bleed this out before I can figure out how to fix it.

“I got so caught up in my own head, thinking that by walking away and giving him up, maybe one day Travis might get his head out of his ass long enough to see his father as a human being… and all I’ve done is prove I’m no better than the rest of them. I’m just another person who didn’t choose him and who left when he needed someone to fucking stay.” Hot tears stream down my cheeks as reality bitch-slaps me across the face. “And now I don’t deserve him because I’m doing exactly what everyone else has done. I’m choosing to walk away just to keep Travis happy, when all he wants is to see his dad miserable.”

“So why the hell are you still in my car?” Violet asks, side-eyeing me with her usual sass.

“To do this.” I lean over and wrap Violet in a hug so tight it probably hurts, but I need her to feel how much she means to me. “I definitely don’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you’ve been both a mom and sister to me. Even now, you’re out here in the cold because Ineeded you.” I reach up to brush a tear off my cheek. “But I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to drive back alone because I’m not walking out on that man.”

I’ve got to make him understand he’s worth everything. That a life with him isn’t settling. It’s hitting the fucking jackpot.