After I fastened my brown pants, I tugged the tunic-style top into place. Now, I was back in Windward. Back walking the same streets I had as a kid, back shopping in the same grocery store, back smiling and waving to the same people I’d known all my life. Pretending not to see their sympathy and pity was new, but I was mastering that well.
I brushed my short, black hair with my fingers, then swiped on some minimal makeup.
Now, I had a kid to worry about. Nothing else mattered. Not that I’d given up my New York dream, not that I had no time to sleep or exercise, or that I worried constantly I’d make a mistake with Ollie. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Yikes, it was impossible to miss the dark circles under my eyes. I sighed.
Suck it up, Ford.
I strode out. “Okay, Ol-ster, let’s roll.”
He was already waiting for me at the door, with his backpack on and his face solemn. He nodded at me.
We headed out of the condo and I locked the door behind us. Our place was at the end of the second floor on the corner. The bonus was that we had extra windows—with views of the thick trees outside that I loved—and our door was tucked around a corner, so it was private. I’d put a cute little planter beside the door with a plant I desperately tried to keep alive. There was also a tiny fairy statue stuck in the soil. She peeked out throughthe leaves with a mischievous look on her face. Ollie called her Sparkle since she was dusted with gold.
That was my little secret—I collected fairy statues. Sean had bought me one when I was ten, and I’d loved collecting them ever since. My dresser in my room was covered in them.
We headed down the hall and passed our neighbor’s door. Mrs. Jenkins was a lifesaver. She often babysat Ollie, if I had an out-of-school-hours shift, or had a chance to go to cocktail night with my girlfriends. She baked, and he liked her and her cookies.
Outside, a brisk wind whipped down the sidewalk. The condo building didn’t have a garage, just assigned parking places in the tree-lined lot in front of the building. It was great in summer, but I wasn’t looking forward to the winter and digging the car out when it snowed.
We headed toward my beat-up Toyota RAV4. I hadn’t owned a car in New York, but when I came back to Windward, I’d needed one. I hadn’t saved much money since living in the Big Apple was expensive, and I’d made the most of living in one of the most exciting cities on Earth. Sean had talked about looking into life insurance, but he hadn’t gotten around to it. He and Sylvie had been young, fit, and healthy.
No one could have predicted they’d be violently murdered by a criminal out on parole.
My stomach did a sickening turn. Swallowing, I unlocked the car. “In we go, kiddo.”
Sean and Sylvie hadn’t owned their house for very long, so they hadn’t built up much equity in it. I’d used what little I gained from the sale of the house to buy the small, second-hand SUV—and the rest I’d socked away for Ollie.
Once Ollie was buckled into his booster seat, I drove to school. It killed me that Sean and Sylvie had missed seeing their little man start school. I managed to find a parking spot in the drop-off chaos outside the main school building. I cursed, as awoman in a Mercedes SUV cut me off and stole it. But I did it under my breath so little ears wouldn’t hear. After snagging another spot, I walked Ollie to the gate.
“You make sure you eat all your lunch.”
“Okay.”
“And remember, it’s not just about learning to read, it’s making friends, having fun.”
His nose wrinkled. “I know.”
“All right, you have a great day.” I crouched down in front of him so that we were eye level. God, I never knew how much you could love someone until you stared at a kid you were responsible for, and they looked back at you with pure trust.
Ollie nodded.
“We’re going to go and see Miss Catherine this afternoon, okay?”
He looked at his feet.
Catherine was his therapist. She assured me that he was doing well, and just needed time to deal with his grief.
“Ollie?”
He looked up. “I like Miss Catherine. It’s just… When I talk about mommy and daddy, I feel sad.”
“Oh, kiddo, that’s normal.” I hugged him. “I feel sad sometimes, too. I miss them so much.”
He looked at me with those solemn, gray eyes. “I do, too.”
I ruffled his hair. “Want me to walk you in?” I didn’t have the time. I’d be late to work, but I didn’t care.
He nodded.
