I want to keep him close right now. I want to show him how much he’s starting to mean to me. I want him to know how much I appreciate him, for both the small things and the potentially life-changing things he’s done for me.
“Thank you,” I murmur, standing on my toes to kiss his cheek. If he asked me to pinpoint exactly what I’m grateful for, there’s a chance it would all pour out of me, but he doesn’t. The little candle of peace that’s found a home inside me remains undisturbed.
We’re hand in hand as we walk back to the car while Niko races ahead, jumping on every fallen leaf that crosses his path.
“Would you like to go trick-or-treating with us next week?” I ask him.
He looks at me, looking so startled that I start to second-guess myself.
“You don’t have to.” I try not to let my disappointment show, but I shrug and slip my hand free. “I just thought I’d ask.” At least I can blame the cold for my red cheeks.
Maybe I’m asking too much.
Within moments, he seizes my hand in his again, holding it even tighter. “I figured you already knew I was going to tag along.” His voice is soothing. “I don’t want the two of you wandering around alone after dark.”
That’s actually… really sweet. And unexpected.
Our neighborhood is safe, and now that I don’t have to worry about Pavel, I feel even safer. But his concern thaws out my heart just a little bit more.
If I’m not careful, I’m not going to have any barriers left to protect myself.
“Should I wear a costume?” he asks as a line forms between his brows. Without thinking, I reach up and smooth my thumb over it, pulling my hand back as soon as I realize what I’ve done.
“What would you even go as?” I laugh, trying to brush off my embarrassment. He shrugs, watching Niko carefully as he chases a squirrel up a tree. “You don’t have to wear anything special. I just want you there.”
With us, I think, but don’t say. The setting sun catches his face in profile, and I bite my lip, focusing on the path in front of us so I don’t do anything else stupid. Like drag him to a stop and kiss him until I forget why I can’t afford to fall in love with him.
“I’ll be there,zolotse. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” His smile tells me that he means it.
***
A soft foam tail smacks Andrei in the shins as Niko spins in a circle, showing off his costume. He’s practically jumping up and down with excitement, a plastic bucket shaped like a jack-o’-lantern bouncing in his hands. The stuffed mouth of the T. rex costume flops backward, showing off his messy hair and pink cheeks.
I smile as I put on my coat. He’s hidden his costume in his room for weeks, pulling it out every time Andrei’s working and asking me to help him try it on. Now the grand reveal is here, and Andrei looks like he’s holding back laughter.
Niko looks ridiculous, but he couldn’t be swayed after he picked out this costume. He wanted to be a bright green and yellow dinosaur, and he’s only going to be this young and carefree for a little while. If looking silly makes him happy, then that’s exactly what he’s going to be.
Andrei acts suitably impressed, making Nikolai beam from ear to ear, squirming impatiently while Andrei helps him with his coat. As soon as his arms are through the sleeves, Niko’s turning around and pulling on my hands.
“C’mon, Mama!” he whines, grinning as soon as we’re out the front door. As we make our way through the neighborhood, he slips his hand into Andrei’s, barely containing his excitement as we move from house to house.
Part of me wants to fight against how comfortable Niko feels with Andrei, how easily he’s accepted him. I beat back the urge when I see how surprised Andrei is, like he can’t believe Niko wants to make sure he’s close by.
Instead, I smile as I watch them, nodding along when Niko points out the over-the-top decorations that litter the yards, knocking on door after door and holding out his bucket for candy at each one.
His enthusiasm never fades, even when his energy starts to lag. He’s having the time of his life, but if he doesn’t get some sleep soon, he’s going to turn into a tiny tyrant in a dino suit.
“Alright, kid,” Andrei announces after we leave a house that has a giant spider propped against some overgrown shrubs. “One last house, and then we’re heading home.”
I blink, momentarily stunned. I’m so used to having to be the bad guy that I don’t know what to do. Niko looks at me sleepily, not quite pleading, but not really trusting Andrei’s word, either. I nod at him, but he doesn’t fight. Instead, he marches up the last driveway with determination.
Keeping a close eye on him, I linger at the bottom of the stairs to the porch, gesturing for Andrei to do the same. The warmth in my chest from last week still lingers, and I lay my head on his shoulder as I lean into him.
Niko stretches up to ring the doorbell, looking back at us uncertainly before the door opens. He faces forward, belting out a cheery, “Trick or treat!” Andrei wraps an arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss against the top of my head while we wait.
When Niko skips back to us, his arms are heaving under the weight of his candy bucket. Clearly the neighbors can’t resist giving him all their candy.
Either that, or they’ve taken a single look at Andrei hovering in the background, using his presence to act as the most menacing parent you’ve ever seen, and decided they’ll do whatever it takes to get him to leave. But I’m going to choose to think that it’s just because of Niko.
