“No. Just… looking for something that speaks to me, I guess.” She eyes the pile of books tucked under my arm and huffs. “Or maybe I should call it quits for now.” I shift so that she can’t see them anymore.
“Don’t stop on my account. I’ve got nowhere else to be.”
In truth, I could watch her do this for days. She’s so careful when she picks something, and despite what she said, it’s like sheknows exactly what she wants to read, only picking the books that tick every one of her secret boxes.
She hesitates, looking in the direction of the single cashier toward the front of the store.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to take up the whole night with this.”
“Take your time. I’m never going to complain about you enjoying yourself.” She takes a moment, cheeks pink, before she nods, resuming her idle wandering among the stacks.
She rarely takes time for herself, always looking after Niko or worrying about the many things that are outside of her control. I’ll gladly encourage her to forget it all for a bit. Watching the joy on her face while she looks around eases a rope around my chest, allowing me to breathe a little easier.
“If you’d like to do something else next week, just let me know, and we’ll do it.”
She looks at me out of the corner of her eye for a moment, considering. Then she shakes her head and turns back to the books.
“What?”
“I was just thinking that I haven’t been to the museum in a while. But I’d feel bad going without Niko, and going with a toddler is a little bit like a field trip to hell, so I don’t want to subject you to it.”
I almost laugh. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just… When we go, I want to look at the exhibits, you know? Read about the gems in their collection, take my time looking at the dioramas, that sort of thing. Before I moved here with Daniil, going to the museum was one of my favorite things todo in my spare time. And you know how Niko is.” She shrugs, looking unbothered. “He gets to the giant T. rex, loses his mind, and immediately wants to run to the dinosaurs. It’s theonlything he wants to see. Which is fine, but I can only look at the same bones so many times before I get bored.”
“Would it be easier if I were there with you guys? That way, when Niko gets bored, I can entertain him while you take your time.” She blinks slowly, a smile breaking across her face, and with it any of the restraint I’ve held in my heart leaves.
Fuck, how did Daniil deny her anything when she smiles like that? It’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ll do anything to make sure I see that smile as much as I can for as long as I possibly can.
It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Are you sure? Because Niko can be a lot. And when there’s a promise of dinosaurs around, he’s almost unbearable.”
“Any time.”
I’ll do anything to see her and Niko happy. Even if I hadn’t promised as much to Daniil, I’d do it for myself. And for them. They deserve it, and I want to be the cause of their happiness. I want them to think of me and smile because they like having me around.
I cradle her careful joy in my chest the whole way home, protecting it like a candle in a windstorm. I let it keep me warm when she reaches out to hold my hand as I drive.
And when I get home and see that the front door is open before I even stop the car, I know that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it safe.
At a glance, the house is dark, but there’s a boot print outlined by the splintered wood near the lock. A quick look around doesn’t show any strange cars on the street, but it’s dark, and I know better than to assume that there isn’t anyone watching.
Blair moves to open her door, oblivious that anything is out of place.
“Wait for me,” I order, reaching across her to pull my gun out of the glove compartment, checking that it’s loaded and flicking off the safety before I’m even out of the car.
“What’s going on?” she asks as I open her door and pull her behind me, grabbing her hand and looping it through my belt at the back of my jeans. “Andrei?”
I don’t want to worry her, but I don’t have any other option right now.
“The door’s been kicked in. I need to make sure whoever did it isn’t still in the house.”
Her stress is immediately apparent, and it makes me more determined to kill whoever’s responsible for this.
“I need you to hold on right here”—I tighten my hand around her wrist, jostling her hand until she clenches it closed—“and stay right on me until I say otherwise, okay?”
She nods, looking scared, but I can’t worry about that right now. She presses herself firmly against my back as I move cautiously through the house, sweeping each room and shadowed corner until I’m able to assure myself there isn’t an immediate threat. Everything looks exactly as it should, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can hear Blair’s hitched breaths behind me as she tries not to cry.
