Whether she and I worked things out or not, she lived on just the other side of my fence. We were neighbors, and I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I didn't want her to be worried that I'd jump the fence and drag her away like the animal she thought I was.
So I took a deep breath and continued. "A few years ago, right after that first fight video went viral, I met this girl. It was before that reality series."
Chloe, like anyone else in the world, knew which series I meant. It was the one that had made me a household name. I felt a bitter smile cross my lips. Well, that and the sex tape.
I ignored the bitterness and kept on going. "But I was starting to make a name for myself. Then there was the money. Growing up, I never had any, you know? But it was starting to roll in. Lots of it. At least compared to what I had before."
It was a massive understatement. Growing up, I'd been dirt poor. I'd known hunger and fear firsthand. These days, I ate at the best restaurants whenever I wanted. I had a housekeeper, a gourmet kitchen, and a private chef any time I wanted, which come to think of it, was pretty much never.
About the fear, well, that was a funny thing, too. I'd outgrown it years ago. Or more likely, any fear had been beat out of me by kids who were twice my size and ten times as vicious. By the time I hit thirteen, I was taking them on every day – and winning.
And now, only one thing scared me – really scared me – and that was the thought of losing the only girl I'd ever loved.
And because I loved her, I had to share the ugly story of a different girl, a girl Ididn'tlove – and that was putting it mildly.
I fucking hated her.
I shook off the anger and kept on talking. "But this girl, she worked as a cocktail waitress at this club I used to go to. She seemed nice. You know, working her way through college and all that. I don't remember what her major was supposed to be, but she was studying all the time, brought her books to the bar, always talked about what she was gonna do when she graduated."
I blew out a breath. "Wait. I remember. A veterinarian." I thought of Brandy, with her stacks of books that were mostly for show. "Yeah. An animal doctor. She was gonna take care of puppies and kittens, and nurse them back to health and all that shit."
Chloe gave me a sideways glance. "Shit?"
Chloe loved animals. I did, too. But that had nothing to do with this. "You know what I mean."
"Actually," she said, not sounding too happy about it, "I don't."
Maybe she didn't get itnow. But she would by the time I finished. So I kept on going. "Anyway, I used to hang out at the club sometimes. And we got friendly."
Chloe snorted. "Yeah, I just bet."
I felt my jaw tense. Yeah, I had a bad reputation. And yeah, I'd done a lot to earn that reputation. But the thing with Brandy was different, because it was the thing that got me started on the road to quick fucks with girls whose names I couldn’t remember, mostly because I didn't care enough to make the effort.
But Chloe didn't know this. Not yet. But she would. So I shoved aside the irritation and went on. "Not that way. Not at first."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because I liked her." I thought of Brandy, remembering the girl she'd pretended to be. "In some ways, she was a lot like you. Or at least, I thought she was. Which is why I didn't want us to… you know."
For some reason, I didn't want to say it. But it was true. I'd kept Brandy out of my bed for two reasons. One was simple, and one was a lot more complicated.
"So let me get this straight," Chloe said. "Youdidn'twant to have sex with her, and somehow she reminds you of me." Her voice grew sarcastic. "Gee, thanks."
I tried again. "It's not that I didn'twantto. I mean, she was–" Looking back, it wasn't funny, but I had to laugh. "I mean, like I said, she was a lot like you. One minute, she'd be sweet and funny. And then the next minute? She'd be cussing like a truck driver, surprised the crap out of me. And she was–" I cleared my throat "– attractive."
And shewasattractive. I recalled her sun-kissed hair and wide blue eyes. And her body, well, there was nothing to complain about there.
Next to me, Chloe muttered, "How nice for you."
Nice? No. There was nothing nice about this story. I plowed forward, eager to get it over with. "But things were so crazy back then. I had girls throwing themselves at me everywhere I went."
"Likethat'schanged," Chloe said.
"Maybe," I said. "I dunno. But back then, it was all so new, I didn't handle it that good." I shoved a hand through my hair. "I dunno. But this girl I liked. We were friends, maybe something more someday. I didn't know. But I wasn't gonna mess it up."
In my life, I'd messed up a lot of things. Even before Brandy, it wasn't like I'd been a saint. But there was something about Brandy, and now, I knew exactly what that something was.
She'd reminded me of Chloe, not that I knew Chloe's name at the time.
