Great. Because nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like a good old-fashioned boner.
Suddenly, I felt a hand grip my thigh. I looked across the table. Unless Chloe's arms had tripled in length, the handwasn'thers.
I looked over at Lauren Jane, who was attacking her salad with one hand, and yup, sure enough, attacking my thigh with the other.
I pretended not to notice. If nothing else, she'd solved my boner problem.
Thanks Lauren Jane, you lettuce-loving psycho.
I looked up, and caught Chloe watching me. Thanks to the long tablecloth, she'd have no idea what Lauren Jane was doing. And I didn'twanther to know, because she sure as hell didn't need one more thing to worry about.
Looking to make her smile, I grinned over at her. When she smiled back, I wanted to lean across the table and kiss away all the bullshit, including her sorry excuse for a family – well, except for Josh. And as far as him, he deserved better, too.
I was just thinking of what I could do to help when Chloe's dad boomed across the table. "So I hear you're some kind of fighter."
Shit. Unless he was referring to Lauren Jane and her epic battle with the salad, he must be talking to me. Slowly, I turned to look at him. He was giving me another man-to-man smile.
I didn't smile back. "Yup."
His smile faltered. "You're not gonna try any of those fancy punches on me now, are you?"
"Nope." And then, Ididsmile, but not in a friendly way. "At least not 'til dessert."
His eyebrows furrowed, and then he laughed, a big booming sound that sounded fake as hell. "Hah!" He shot me with both index fingers. "You got me there."
Next to me, Lauren Jane giggled. She leaned her head close to mine and said, "You're so funny." She turned to Chloe's dad and called out, "You'd better watch it, Daddy, or he's gonna get you."
Yeah. Maybe I would.
Chapter 57
Lauren Jane turned her attention back to me. "Speaking of funny things," she said, leaning closer, "did you notice thatyourname begins with an 'L' andmyname begins with an 'L'?"
Yeah. Just like lettuce begins with an "L". Big deal.
Lauren Jane glanced across the table and said in a snotty voice, "Sorry, Chloe. I guess you're not in the club."
From the look on Chloe's face, she'd like a club alright, but not the kind you joined.
Chloe's dad spoke up. "Uh-oh.Mygal's name begins with an 'L', too." With a big chuckle, he shook his index finger at me. "But you don't be stealing my Loretta."
Reluctantly, I shifted my gaze to Loretta. Shit. The way it looked, she was giving it some thought. Nice. More boner-prevention.
Across from me, Chloe jumped up from her seat and blurted out, "Want me to get the turkey?"
Loretta's mouth tightened. She gave Chloe a cold look. "Areyouthe hostess?"
Chloe froze. "No. But I'm happy to help." She hesitated. "Unless you'd rather do it?"
With a sigh, Loretta pushed back her chair and stood. "So much for a relaxing dinner. Chloe, will you please sit? You're making everyone nervous."
When Chloe sat back down, Loretta – with all the dignity of an English butler – started delivering the covered platters to the table. One by one, she lifted each silver lid and told us what we were looking at. There was turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, stuffing, and more platters to come.
As for everyone else, they were busy too, telling Loretta how great everything looked, or smelled, or whatever.
For Chloe's sake, I played along with the rest of them. Funny, if this were someplace else, I might be having a great time. But there was something about this whole scene that just wasn't right.
I started wondering if we could invite Josh over to spend the night at my place, and conveniently forget to return him.
