"Lawton's brother, who's totally luscious by the way." She licked her lips. "I figure with Lawton off the market, I should probably go after him. What do you think?" She cocked her head. "Am I his type?"
"How should I know?" And then the full impact of her words hit me. "And what do you mean Lawton's off the market?"
"That's what I hear," she said.
"From who? Brittney?"
"No way. I'm totally over her." Her eyes brightened. "So you've gotta tell me, did shereallyapologize naked?"
"Semi-naked."
"God, what a slut."
I stared down at her. The statement seemed awful strange coming from someone who probably matched Brittney guy for guy.
"Did you hear?" Amber said. "Brittney's totally cut off."
"What do you mean?"
"No more parties, no more V.I.P. tickets, none of that stuff. She's out like a trout. Blacklisted, totally."
I shook my head. "I don't get it."
"Well, that was the deal," Amber said. "Brittney and me, we had to make things right with you. And if not?" Amber slit an imaginary knife across her throat. "Cut off. Like yesterday. Lawton's got a lot of friends too. So it's not just him neither."
"So let me get this straight," I said, "if you didn't apologize, he was going to turn you into some kind of social pariahs?"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "What do man-eating fish have to do with anything?"
"Not piranhas," I said. "Pariahs. You know? Social outcasts?"
"Ohhh. Yeah. That's it." She brightened. "So here I am!" She glanced down at the menu. "Maybe I should have breakfast food, like French toast or something. What do you think?"
"I think," I said, "that this so-called apology isn't going so well."
"Oh, alright," she said. "Jeez, if you're gonna be all picky about it." She closed her menu and set it off to the side. "I'm sorry about our prank. We thought it would be funny, but obviously, it wasn't, and I'm really super sorry."
"Wow," I said, "that actually wasn't that bad."
"Thanks," she said. "I've had a lot practice."
"But I still don't understand how you'd call it a prank."
"Oh, it totally was," she said. "You know, like a steal-the-mascot thing. See?"
"No, I don't see. I'm not a mascot. I'm a person. And honestly? I don't think that stealing an animal is much better."
"Most of the time," Amber said, "it's just a statue or something. It's not like we'd kidnap a dog or anything. Jeez, what kind of people do you think we are?"
"Well, you tried to kidnapme," I said, "so I probably shouldn't answer that."
"Too bad we didn't get the chance to do your car. You might've foundthatfunny at least."
I stared down at her. "What do you mean,domy car?" And then it hit me. Those two guys and their sedan. Their car had been vandalized, spray-painted with profanity. "Oh my God," I said. "You were gonna paint my car, too?"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Paint? No way. That stuff doesn't come off. We use shoe polish."
"Shoe polish?"
