He paused for a long moment before saying, "I was an asshole, just like you said."
I frowned. "But I never said that."
In a tone that was almost teasing, he said, "Didn't you?"
And then, it hit me. "Oh, my God. You heard that?"
"Heard it.Anddigested it." With a faint laugh, he added, "Deserved it, too."
I could hardly believe my ears. Still, I had to tell him, "Just so you know, I didn't mean for you to hear that. I was talking to myself."
"Why?You'renot the asshole." When he spoke next, his voice was nearly a caress. "Cami?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so fucking sorry. I know you don't like swear words, but it's the only way I can tell you. The things I said – I did a sorry job of it. You deserve better."
I felt myself swallow. "Really?"
"You know it's true," he said. "And you wanna know what I just figured out?"
By now, I was nearly breathless. "What?"
"If I could love anyone, it would be you."
My heart lifted, and then sank as I digested the full implication of his words. On the surface, it was such a sweet sentiment. But deep inside, where it counted, I wasn't so sure. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I don't believe in it."
"In what?"
"Love."
My breath hitched. "Oh."
"And I like you too much to lie."
By now, I was chewing on my bottom lip.He liked me.
So we were friends after all?
I should've been happy. But when I searched my heart, I found no happiness, just disappointment, which made no sense whatsoever.We weren't even a couple.I heard myself say, "I never expected you to love me."
"No. But you would eventually."
"You don't know that."
"I do," he said. "And I like you too much to hurt you."
There it was again.He liked me.
From Mason, it was a huge compliment.So why did I feel so empty?
Now I didn't know what to say. He was hurting menow, even if that wasn't his intention. I wasn't even sure why I was hurting. I mean, it's not like we made any promises.
Stiffly, I said, "I see."
Except I didn't.Not really.
