Been there, done that.
Arden Weathers – no way she'd be stingingme.
In front of me, she gave a hard swallow. "You're not serious?" She blinked a few times before continuing. "I mean, you wouldn’tdemolishthe house or anything, would you?"
I made another show of looking around. "Like I said, it's hard to say."
Her voice rose. "Hard to say if you're serious?"
I pointed to the ceiling, where a dark stain marred the smooth, white surface. "See that? The roof – it's shot to hell."
She glanced up. "What?"
"It needs replacing. And there's another floor above us, which means…" I paused for emphasis. "…the leak's gone straight through. Stuff like that, it doesn't happen overnight."
The more I talked, the less happy Arden looked. "Yeah, so?"
"So we're looking at floor damage, too. Maybe structural."
"Yeah, but—"
"And the wiring – no way it's up to code."
"You mean the electrical wiring?"
"Unless you know another kind."
She hesitated. "But the electricity…it still works."
I gave her an ominous look. "Fornow."
"Yeah, but the house….it could always be rewired, right?"
"Why?" I scoffed. "It's missing bathrooms."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Missing how?"
"A place this size – two bathrooms doesn't cut it."
"But wait," she said. "I thought you were talking about the wiring."
"I was," I told her. "But I've moved on. Try to keep up, will ya?"
Her mouth tightened. "Fine. Whatever. But about the bathrooms, you can just put in more, right? I mean, you've done it before. I've seen you."
Nowthatmade me pause. "Oh yeah?" I almost laughed. "Where?"I knew where.Our show was killing it in the ratings. But I was curious to see if she'd admit it.
Her face, already flushed, grew a shade redder as she said, "Well, Idoflip through the channels once in a while."
From the look on her face, she wasn't a fan. That was fine by me. I had millions already.
I smiled. "If you want my autograph, just lemme know."
She looked at me like I was the biggest piece of shit on the planet. "I don't want yourautograph," she said. "I want to know what you're planning to do with the house."
"You meanmyhouse?"
"I don't care if it's yours," she said. "Youcan'tjust demolish it."
