Fuck.
I didn't want to do it. But unless I wanted to send her away, I had no choice. "You remember that clause?"
She shook her head. "What clause?"
"The no-questions clause."
In front of me, she grew very still. "You're not seriously suggesting–"
"Yeah. I am."
At this, she looked like she wanted to strangle me. I knew the feeling. Hell, I felt like strangling myself.
She glared up at me for a long moment, and I half expected her to pack her stuff right then and there. But she didn't. Instead, she asked in a carefully controlled voice, "This clause of yours, does it ever expire?"
I nodded. "Next month."
"At the end of the tour? That's what you're saying?"
"Pretty much."
"Well, that's nice," she said.
Carefully, I reached for her hands. "Becka, listen…" But as my hands closed around hers, I didn't know what to say. Obviously, she was upset. And I hated that. But I'd rather upset her a million times than put her in any danger.
Finally, I said, "I'd never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?"
She blinked away tears. "But don't you get it? You're hurting me now."
"Not as bad as I could."
"What doesthatmean?"
"I just mean..."Shit. I didn't want to say it. But now I had no choice. "If it's a problem, maybe we should catch up after the tour. I mean, hey, it's only more three weeks."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"It's not what I want," I clarified. "But if it's whatyouwant, I get it." I stared into her eyes. "I love you. You know that, right?"
After a long moment, she gave a silent nod.
"So do me a favor. Please?" I gave her hands a squeeze. "No more questions."
"But—"
"Not 'til the tour's over, okay?"
What Ididn'tsay was that if something went wrong along the way, she'd be glad that she'd been kept in the dark.
In front of me, she blew out a long, trembling breath. "I must be an idiot."
Something in my shoulders eased. "So that's a yes?"
Finally, she gave another nod.
At this, I gathered her into my arms. "No," I said into her hair. "You're the girl I love. And trust me. The tour will be done before you know it."
No truer words were ever spoken – because just four days later, it became painfully clear that she wouldn't make it to the end.
