"That's part of it," I said. "But even if shehadn'ttold me, I still would've known. My stepdad? He kept getting crabbier all the time, like he was living with a warm cherry pie he couldn’t eat." Again, I cringed. "That sounded awful, didn't it?"
"The situation? Yeah. But your wording? No. I get what you mean."
"Yeah, well, he's in prison now anyway – financial crimes and what-not. That's why Mom finally moved back to Wyoming."
Forcing some cheer into my voice, I explained, "Her best friend from high school just got divorced, and apparently they're going to conquer the world."
Jack's jaw tightened. "Is that so?"
I hesitated. "Is something wrong? I mean, other than the obvious?"
"It seems to me, she was no kind of mom."
"Yeah, well…" I shrugged. "She had her good points, too, I guess."
From the look on Jack's face, he wasn't buying it.
Still, I was beyond eager to end this already. I finished by saying, "Anyway, all that to say, Anna had a pretty rough time of it, but as long as I acted like everything was normal, she seemed to feel better."
"And how aboutyou?"
I smiled. "Ifshefelt better,Ifelt better."
Jack was quiet for a long moment before saying, "I get what you mean."
"So I guess the lesson is, if you can't do anything anyway, sometimes it's better to suck it up and pretend you'renotseeing what you're seeing, if only so the people you love don't feel so bad." And now, I just had to ask, "Does that make me a coward?"
Jack didn't hesitate. "No."
I wasn't quite sure I believed him, but it was still nice to hear. "Well …thanks." I blew out a long, shaky breath. "See? Itoldyou I'd get all morbid."
And now I was desperate to end on a high note. Going for a joke, I said, "And now that all I'm all grown up, if Gordon ever gets out, I'm pretty sure I'll have to kill him."
It wasn't the first time I'd said such a thing. And it probably wouldn't be the last. But it was the only time I'd said this to Jack.
I waited for him to laugh, or at least smile.But he didn't.Instead, after a long, terrible silence, he said, "No, you won't."
"Oh yeah? Why not?"
"Because I'll get him first." He paused as if thinking. "Or maybe second."
"Sorry, what?"
"I'm just saying, Flynn's local, so…" With a loose shrug, he let the sentence trail off.
I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but for some stupid reason, it made me feel just a little bit better.
Now I almost smiled for real. "What are you saying? I'm third in line? Behind youandFlynn? That's not fair."
"Fair's for pussies."
"Oh come on," I said. "You don't really believe that. I've read your books, remember? You're big into justice."
He didn't deny it, and his tone grew speculative. "True."
"See?"
"Of course," he said, as if thinking out loud, "if the guy were a character in one of my books, he wouldn't die an easy death. Something like that? Could be stretched out for weeks." He gave a slow nod. "Maybe months."
