"But why me?" And then, she froze. "Oh."
I studied her face. "What?"
"You didn't want anything bad to happen to those other girls, but with me—"
"It's not like that."
But already, she was shaking her head. "But it was. Wasn't it?"
I hated cowards, and I didn't want to become one now. I had to say it. "Yeah."
She reached for her wine glass and took a long, steady drink. When she finished, she said with mock cheer, "Well, I can't say I'm surprised."
"But it's not like that," I repeated. "I mean, not anymore."
"Yeah, well…" She gave a hard swallow. "Good thing I was desperate for the money, huh?"
"Fuck the money."
Her mouth tightened. "That's easy for you to say."
This wasn't the first time she'd told me that. But I wanted it to be the last. "I'm just saying, it's not whatI’mthinking of. And I don't want you to think about it either."
"What doesthatmean?"
"If you want," I said, "I'll pay you the rest now, no strings. The bonus, too."
As I said it, she looked down, studying her glass with unnatural interest. She wasn't jumping for joy. But then again, I hadn't expected her to.
When she looked up, her eyes were filled with tears, and not the happy kind. "Can I ask you something? Why'd you make me move in with you? Was that part of the clause, too? That you had to be living with someone?"
Shit.
I really didn't want to say. But she deserved the truth. In a quiet voice, I said, "No."
"So you had a different reason. Lemme guess. Revenge?"
"Not just revenge," I said. "I wanted to keep an eye on you."
"Why?" She made a scoffing sound. "To make sure I didn't welch on our deal? Or to make sure I didn't mess up?" Her voice cracked. "Or, just to make me miserable?"
The truth was, it was all of those things. But hell if I wanted to say it.
When I said nothing in reply, she gave a bitter laugh. "A lot of goodthatdid, huh?"
"What do you mean?"
"I messed up all the time. I mean, let's be honest here. I'm not very good at this, am I?"
On this, she was right.She wasn't good at faking things or pretending to be something she wasn't.
I held her gaze, willing her to understand. "No. You're not. But that's not such a bad thing."
"Oh, please," she said. "You should've hired someone like Mackenzie."
"You're wrong. I didn't want her. And I don't want her now."
"That's real bummer," she said in a voice of false cheer. "She would've given you a heck of a deal."
