Page 90 of Jaked


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"But what happens if you're on a date, and, well, you know?"

"I don't date 'em," he said.

I shook my head. "I don't get it."

"Want me to spell it out?"

Actually, I wasn't sure. I felt myself nod anyway.

"Alright," he said. "I don't date them. I don't fuck them. I don't 'have sex' with them. I'm not 'intimate' with them. I don't kiss them. I don't hold them. And I sure as hell don't lie to them."

"Lie to them. How?"

"By claiming to be anything but a bastard."

I stared at him. "You arenota bastard."

"Right," he said.

"I still don't get it," I said. "Why would you think that way?"

"Because," he said, "I'm not a nice person. What am I gonna do with a nice girl?"

I could think of lots of things. WasIa nice girl? I always thought I was. I was a lot nicer than Maddie, that's for sure. But the truth was, tonight, I'd been exactly the opposite. Ever since that stupid kiss, I'd felt foolish and disappointed, and I'd been taking it out on Jake.

I was still trying to process everything when his voice broke into my thoughts. "You think I'm gonna involve some nice girl in my shit? You think I'm gonna drag her into the gutter and call it okay? You think I'm gonna let her hang with my friends when I'll have to watch them every fucking minute?"

"Watch them?" I said. "Why?"

He gave a hard laugh. "To make sure they don't hassle her. Or worse."

Worse?

His voice rose. "You think I'm gonna let someone like Loke try something when I’m not there to protect her?"

"Wait a minute," I said. "Loke's in prison. So who exactly are we talking about?"

Jake got to his feet. "No one." He turned away and strode toward the door.

"You're not leaving?" I said.

Wordlessly, he kept on going.

"Wait," I said. "I need to tell you something."

With obvious impatience, he stopped and turned around. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I said. 

I didn't know what, exactly, I was sorry for. But Iwasreally sorry to see him like this, especially if I'd somehow triggered it.

"Forget it," he said. "No big deal."

He was lying. I could see it all over his face. Maybe I shouldn't have pried. But his reaction was a total surprise. During all the years I'd known him, I'd never seen him lose his cool, not once – not during any fights, not with any of his girlfriends, not even the time I'd seen him arrested for mouthing off to some cop.

He had plenty of attitude, but nothing got under Jake's skin. Ever.

"Jake," I said. "Seriously. Don't go. Okay?"