Chapter 11
Joel's words echoed in the quiet car. I gave a small shake of my head. "What?"
Somewhere behind me, I heard a vehicle rumbling up toward us. I didn't even turn to look. My eyes were still trained on Joel's face. Somehow, I managed to say, "You don't mean that."
"I'm sorry." His voice grew very quiet. "I should've told you."
I gave him a confused look. "What do you mean? When?"
Slowly, his gaze shifted to my car, wedged next to that dark van. I looked, but saw nothing. And then it hit me. "You mean before…?" I didn't even know how to say it.
But soon, I didn't need to, because Joel saved me the trouble by saying, "Before fucking you in the parking lot?"
I sucked in a breath. I wouldn’t have put itthatway. In fact, I probably wouldn't have said it at all. Even now, I could hardly speak. "You're not serious? Youknewbefore—"
"Yeah," he said. "I knew."
I was still staring at him. Our lovemaking – or whatever he wanted to call it – had meant something to me. It had meant something to him, too. Or at least, I'd thought so at the time.
Shadows cast by the approaching headlights crept across his face. It was the face of someone heading for the gallows. He said, "You should go."
My jaw dropped. "You're kidding, right? Like what, you're dismissing me?"
Maybe I should've been nicer. If anything, Joel looked more miserable thanIfelt. And that was saying something. "Well?" I demanded. "Are you?"
He gave me an anguished look. "It's not like that."
My tone grew sarcastic. "Oh, isn't it?"
Behind me, I heard the unknown vehicle pulling up beside us on the passenger's side. I still didn't turn to look. I didn't care who it was or what they were doing. All I knew was, I wasn't going anywhere, not yet.
I met Joel's troubled gaze. "Just tell me what's going on." My heart was pounding now. "I mean, how could you act like you care—"
"I care." He took a ragged breath. "It was no lie."
My voice rose. "And what about you still loving me? Wasthata lie?"
His voice was just above a whisper. "No."
"So?" I made a sound of frustration. "What is it then?"
A tap on my car window made me jump in my seat. I whirled to look and saw Cal standing just outside my car door. Behind him was his truck, with the engine no longer running.
Funny, I hadn't even heard it turn off.
Cal grinned at me through the glass. "See?"
See what? My hopes shattered into a million pieces?I gave a stunned shake of my head.
He motioned for me to roll down the window, but I was too numb to move. Part of me wanted to scream at Cal to go away. But I didn't. In spite of everything, I couldn't help but recall how nice he'd been to me earlier.
And plus – a wild thought suddenly hit me – maybe this little visit, or whatever it was, would give Joel some time to cool off, and maybe rethink what he was saying.
With a trembling hand, I reached out and pressed the window-control button. When the glass slid down, Cal said in a tone filled with mischief, "So what wereyoukids doing?"
Joel's voice sliced past me. "Talking. Now get the fuck out of here."
I winced.So much for cooling off.I gave Cal a worried look. Silently, I mouthed, "Sorry."
