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  He yelled, "Watch the suit!"
 
 "What suit?" I asked, aiming the water just a bit higher. "Thatsuit?"
 
 He scrambled backward until his backside hit the porch railing. "You're nuts! You know that?"
 
 "Totally," I said, flicking the hose nearly to waist level.
 
 "Son of a bitch!" he yelled, looking down to his newly dampened groin. "That's freezing!"
 
 When I squeezed the nozzle again, he dove sideways, vaulted over the porch railing, and hit the ground running, sprinting toward his car.
 
 By the time he peeled out of the driveway a moment later, the faucet was off, and I was already coiling up the hose. But I didn't put it away, not completely, because if he came back, I'd definitely be using it again.
 
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 